‘I know that there was a heated exchange within the group on Saturday, and I’d just like to make it a matter of record that Noah has explained everything to me and in light of his significant and obvious talent I have decided to let him continue to take part in the tournament.’ Opal spoke quickly, eager to move on and avoid questions.
Johan raised his hand, as though mocking her teacherly address. ‘But, miss, isn’t that less fair on the rest of us, now that there’s more … illegitimate competition for the prize fund?’
Opal was struck by how different Johan sounded, although she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what had changed.
‘What the fuck do you need the prize fund for anyway, posh boy?’ Opal was taken aback by the venom in Heather’s voice. It seemed she’d lost control of her class.
‘Heather’s right. In light of Johan’s … breeding, shouldn’the be excluded from the prize fund?’ Ruby jumped in. Opal was confused, by the insinuation but also by the dirty look that Heather then shot Ruby. It seemed much more had transpired at the gala than she was aware of.
Opal looked at Johan, who shrugged. ‘If you must know,’ he began, his voice so nakedly aristocratic now that it sounded almost put on, ‘my father and I are not exactly … on good terms at the moment, so I’ve been cut off.’
‘That’s exactly it, though, for the moment. In the end it’ll all end up in your inheritance fund.’ Heather turned to Johan now, visibly angry.
‘The way some people talk these days, you can never be sure that the taxman won’t come and dress you down …’ Johan’s voice too was raised.
‘Oh of course, God fucking forbid anyone should deprive the poor little rich boy from the entirety of his unearned generational wealth …’ Ruby began before being cut off.
‘You know what, I don’t actually need you to fight my battle.’ Now Heather turned to Ruby. ‘And you two stop with this little show you’re always putting on, because everyone can hear you shagging every night, so there’s no need to pretend anymore.’
Ruby looked stunned. It was the first time Opal had seen her speechless.
‘Can everyone please calm down.’ Opal was surprised by her own sternness, but it had the desired effect. The room hushed, and all five pairs of eyes were on her. ‘The decision to invite you here was not lightly taken, and I took a lot of time to deliberate on who would qualify.’ It wasn’t true at all really, but Opal felt she needed to reassert some authority.‘Everyone in this room is here for a reason and I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t take it upon yourself to question my judgement.’
Everyone nodded solemnly.
Everyone, apart from Johan of course, who smirked. ‘The dyke only wants me gone because she wants Ruby for herself,’ he muttered.
Heather threw back her chair and stormed out of the room. Ruby glared at Johan, and Noah and Adam barely reacted.
Opal felt deflated. No one had even touched their food. ‘I’ll catch up with Heather later, but for the rest of you, I’ve gathered you here to mark the beginning of the second round, and as you know the theme is death. I understand that it might be challenging for some of you, so know that I am always around to be a listening ear if any of you need someone to talk to …’ She hadn’t finished talking, but they had all begun to stand already. She was getting that distinct feeling again of being the substitute who never really stood a chance with the class in the first place.
Opal hoped that maybe Noah would hang back. She hadn’t decided what she would say to him, but she felt that if they could be alone, she might be inspired. He didn’t. Instead it was Adam who hovered by the door until the others had left.
He had been even quieter than usual at the table, and Opal wondered if he simply wanted to add his two pence without the crowd. ‘Are you OK, Adam?’
He seemed hesitant, and for a moment she thought he might change his mind and walk out the room.
When he turned his dark eyes on her, his face was grave. ‘I’m sure this is a sensitive subject but I wanted to let youknow that I saw Martin last night, engaged in …’ Adam raised his eyebrow and paused long enough for Opal to understand what was coming next ‘… relations with a much younger woman.’ Adam’s stare was piercing, and Opal got the sense that he was studying her for a reaction.
‘I understand. I’m sorry you had to see that. Thank you for … bringing it to light.’ Adam’s emphasis on ‘much younger’ stung a little, but of course, Opal was not surprised by the information he was relaying.
Adam frowned ever so slightly, as though he had expected a different answer, perhaps something more laden: shock, anger or upset.
After a moment of silence, Adam nodded curtly and left, unsatisfied, perhaps, by her response but unwilling to pry further.
Towards her husband, Opal felt only cool disdain. How classless of him to let himself be caught, and not for the first time. It occurred to Opal that there might be some part of him that wanted to get caught. That he was so cowardly about the whole affair that he secretly hoped his own sloppiness would get him off the hook of ever having to come clean on his own terms.
But Opal didn’t feel sorry for herself much anymore. After her conversation with Debbie, this new revelation only made her sad for her friend, and by extension for Agnes. In the whirlwind of her evening, the dizzying kiss with Noah had overtaken her falling-out with Debbie as the object of her hungover fixations. Now she began again to feel the weight of her ruptured friendship.
For the rest of the day Opal obsessed over whether sheshould call Debbie or drop by. She was consumed with indecision as she helped Hetty clear away breakfast. She pondered as she went for her morning swim; she agonised as she set up her easel for an afternoon of sketching.
But as the light faded, and the telephone remained unused, as she changed into her pyjamas and settled in front of the small television set gathering dust in the corner of her bedroom, Opal faced up to the truth of the matter. In some ways she was just as cowardly as her husband. She didn’t have the courage to face Debbie because she had no real excuse for her deceit.
Chapter 36
Adam wasn’t sure if he was awake or asleep, but he knew who the figure was, even though he couldn’t make out their face. The pirouettes were clumsy, a little lopsided, but powered by wonder, like a child’s. His aura was the pale pink of a ballerina’s tutu.
And then suddenly Adam could also hear his laughter, a clear peal of crescendoing joy. Adam was stuck in place, but he didn’t feel trapped. It was more like the feeling of being tucked in tightly. He settled into the trance of the spinning. Adam knew it was Joshua because of the way his heart felt: weighty in his chest, making itself known but not painfully. Adam only felt this way when Joshua visited him. If Adam thought of Joshua of his own accord, as he assumed others thought of the dead, he felt that same heaviness, but as grief, love with its jagged edge.
