There was loss in Heather’s voice, though. And it was still raw. Ruby felt compelled to reach out and take her hand, but she thought better of it.
‘That sounds rad,’ Ruby said, trying to remember how they’d ended up on this topic. Maybe she was still a bit stoned from her bath.
‘Anyway, the point is that Gareth basically made it happen.His partner died a couple of years back, and I guess he wanted to do something productive with that grief.’
Ruby was glad she hadn’t spoken her true mind about Gareth. When Heather spoke of him, there was admiration in her voice. Maybe Ruby had jumped to conclusions about him too quickly. She found herself quite persuaded by Heather’s opinions.
For a moment they sat in silence. ‘So what’s your anodyne idea then?’ Ruby asked.
Heather stubbed out the end of her cigarette and sighed heavily. ‘I was moulding rabbits.’
‘Rabbits?’
‘Yeah, I was thinking like birth, population control, reproduction … fuck I have no idea.’ Heather shook her head. ‘And I swore to myself that I was in this to win it. No sharing my ideas with anyone.’ Heather dropped her head into her hands. Ruby could see her frustration.
‘Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t written a single word since I’ve been here.’
Heather looked up shyly. ‘Really?’
‘No, actually that’s not quite true, I’ve written the word “birth” in capital letters at the top of a page …’
Heather cracked a smile. ‘That actually does make me feel better …’ Heather leant back again. ‘Maybe I should do something about my sister.’ She sounded as though she just was musing out loud, but Ruby was intrigued.
‘What about your sister?’
‘You ask a lot of questions, don’t you?’
‘Not usually, only when I’m interested in someone.’ Ruby had spoken before she’d considered how the words wouldsound out loud. She worried they were too revealing, but it was Heather who blushed.
‘When my sister was born, I realised I was gay.’ Heather said this bluntly, as though it was self-explanatory.
‘I’m going to need more than that …’
‘Well, up until then I don’t think my parents really thought about my girlishness. They had nothing to compare it to, but my sister, Amanda, she was so … Girl, even when she was still a baby there was something undeniably feminine about her, and it made me feel like up until that moment I had been wearing an ill-fitting costume, a costume that looked completely natural when she put it on.’
‘The birth of a dyke.’ Once again Ruby spoke before she thought.
Heather smirked at her. ‘You’re a bit of a wordsmith, eh?’
‘That’s the idea.’
‘You mind if I nick that? It’s a good title, even though my art school peers would deride me for using anything other than “untitled”.’
‘It’s all yours.’ Ruby felt a glimmer of pride.
‘Right. Back to the grindstone for me, Miss Ruby Tongue. It’s been a pleasure. Thanks for the fag.’
Ruby wondered how she knew her stage name, but Heather had already disappeared back into her studio by the time it occurred to her to ask.
Ruby headed back inside the house. She wasn’t sure how to entertain herself until dinner. She’d spent the previous day in the library – a small, dark room that smelled like smoke – and found a book of medieval poetry. She hadn’t expected to feel so drawn to the strange-looking words on the page, distantcousins of the English that she knew, but familiar enough to intrigue her. She’d left it on her bedside table, after an unsuccessful attempt at deciphering the first page following a boozy dinner.
As she climbed the stairs, she heard voices and instinctively pushed back up against the wall, hoping to overhear the conversation without being seen. It was a great house for that, the creaks and shadows too often unattributable, and so easy to hide behind.
‘That was … sorry I didn’t mean to cry. It was just far more intense than I expected.’ It was Opal’s voice drifting down the corridor.
‘It was beautiful. Don’t apologise.’
Ruby’s mind raced.What were Johan and Opal doing coming out of the master bedroom?She wanted to hear more but their footsteps were approaching and she was about to be spotted. As they came into view she hopped down a couple of stairs and walked back up slowly, as though she was only just reaching the top of the banister.
