Chapter 58
Ore
At a certain point, the heat they’d generated started to dissipate and their naked bodies grew colder. It was Ore who noticed first. They had fallen into a sort of fugue state, not speaking or moving, but simply being, trying to hold on to the moment for as long as they could. Outside of this time, this cupboard even, they had no idea what awaited each of them, let alone their future together.
‘I think we should probably go to bed …’ Ore said quietly. ‘Will you come to bed with me?’
He looked at her with sadness in his eyes. He was already mourning their moment, beginning to think about the ‘after’.
‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Ore. I would love to, I just … if anyone finds out, it doesn’t look good for me.’ Ore’s heart sank, her elation replaced by the heavy weight of realism.
‘I mean it’s hardly a good look for me either, Daniel, but maybe I just care less about other people’s opinions.’ She was hurt and lashing out. She was pushing him away before he could reject her. It was textbook stuff.
Instead of replying immediately, Daniel stroked her cheek, until she looked up at him again, and when she did the tenderness in his face made her want to cry again.
‘I do really want to, and I think you know that it is different for me – you get to leave this world, but this is the world thatIlive in.’ His voice was deep and calming.
She nodded, soothed, reassured, but still desperately yearning for a different outcome.
‘I understand – I’m sorry,’ she muttered, and in response he planted a soft kiss on her lips.
‘Now we should probably get some clothes on,’ he said, and then waited, as though not wanting to make the first move and initiate the disentanglement. Ore nodded again, and with her agreement he pulled himself out and away.
Ore gathered her clothes, having to scout for her bra, and they dressed themselves in silence. She wasn’t sure what to say. The whirlwind of feelings she’d experienced in the last hour were too muddled to articulate.
When they were both fully clothed, Daniel made for the door, opening it up slowly, to check for the all-clear, and then striding out onto the deck. Outside, the air was cool, and the moon’s reflection glistened amidst the inky waves.
Ore leant out against the railing and took a deep breath. ‘You know I didn’t even take a Kwell today, and I was fine,’ she said.
‘You’re finally finding your sea legs.’ He came up behind her and hovered, as if unsure whether he could touch her outside of their hideaway.
‘I think I get it, you know, why you might choose this life. There’s something so free about it,’ Ore mulled out loud.
‘An old friend of mine always says it’s like the circus, for people who are either chasing something or running away.’
‘Who’s the friend?’ It occurred to Ore that they’d had veryfew conversations like this – really she knew almost nothing about him, other than what she’d told him in that first interview. All they ever talked about was the investigation.
‘Captain Jack Carter, but he was a first officer when I knew him. He fast-tracked me through my bosun years.’ Daniel smiled fondly at the memory.
‘Bosun?’ Ore wasn’t familiar with the terminology.
‘It’s like the third rung down: captain, first officer, then bosun. I was his right-hand man,’ Daniel explained.
‘And which one are you doing then? Chasing or running away?’ Ore probed.
‘I don’t know. For a long time I thought neither. I thought I was one of the few people who knew exactly where they were going. I have a plan to get there …’ He trailed off, and then corrected himself: ‘hada plan.’ Ore kept her eyes trained on the indiscernible horizon. She wanted him to keep talking.
‘But recently …veryrecently, I’ve been thinking that it’s actually both. That I’m running and chasing, and I didn’t even know it.’
‘Well well, who’s got a way with words now?’ Ore could have said nothing, but she wanted him to know she was listening.
‘Yeah, I guess. I seem to spend a lot of timethinking, at the moment. It’s horrible. I don’t know how you do it.’ He was matching her lightened tone, but there was truth there too.
Ore yawned, suddenly exhausted.
‘Oh geez, am I boring you?’ Daniel chuckled.
‘No! No I love talking to you. I just think I need to sleep now. It’s been … an eventful day,’ which was quite the understatement, thought Ore.
She turned to face Daniel. They stood awkwardly for a second, and then Daniel pecked her on the cheek and with a chirpy ‘Goodnight!’ he marched off. Had she had more energy, Ore might have been left reeling; as it was, she headed downstairs, seduced by the siren call of her bed.
