Vicky’s words swam around Daniel’s head for the rest of the day, whilst he went through the motions of manning the boat. Dudley’s arrival surprised him. He was losing track of time again.
‘OK, Captain?’ Dudley said as he took his seat. ‘You look a little out of it.’
‘I’m fine, thanks, Dudley,’ Daniel replied, though he avoided looking at Dudley in the eye as he walked out. He didn’t havethe stomach for another heart-to-heart. That now familiar dread had resurfaced with a vengeance. He needed to see Ore, but he also didn’t want to lose his head again. He knew the conversation he needed to have wasn’t going to go down well. As he opened the door to his room, he half hoped she wasn’t on the inside.
Still, the sight of her was a balm – at least for a moment.
‘Hello, beautiful.’ It was strange how something could become a habit so quickly.
She smiled at him and then kissed him forcefully, but it only made him sadder. Something icy in his veins reached his heart and encased it.Self-preservation, he thought. As if sensing his resistance she took a step back from him, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. He wanted to go to her, unfurl her and kiss away the bewilderment in her eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. He wasn’t sure what she was apologising for. He suspected she wasn’t either.
‘It’s OK.’ He could hear how cold he sounded, how detached. He could see the twinge of hurt in her eyes before she looked down at her feet. If this was how it was going to go, he thought, he might as well get the whole job done. ‘I’ve been thinking about your article, and your request.’ His tone was brusque, businesslike. ‘I’ve given it some serious consideration and …’
She looked up at him then, the liquid of her brown eyes pooling, but her expression defiant. She uncrossed her arms and stood a little straighter. ‘You don’t want to be named. I get it,’ she said coolly, her voice unwavering but he could sense how hard she was trying not to cry.
‘I appreciate that.’ They were standing at an awkwarddistance. Daniel remembered he was still wearing his captain’s hat. He removed it.
‘I also wanted to say something else.’ He braced himself for impact; she didn’t react. He continued, ‘I don’t think you should try and publish it at all. I think you should take the job, file the original piece and just try and forget about everything else.’ Vicky probably knew Chuck as well as anyone ever could, and he couldn’t bear the idea of Ore putting herself in danger or harpooning her entire career before it had even begun.
Ore’s expression turned from disbelief, to bemusement and finally to rage. As it settled, it lost its heat and morphed instead into something frozen, impenetrable.
Ore brought her arms back across her chest, and shifted her gaze downwards. ‘Well thanks for the advice, Daniel. I reallyappreciateyou taking the time to tell me how to do my job. It’s pretty clear to me now where your loyalties lie, and maybe I was just the stupid, naive, inexperienced hack you and Chuck seem to think I am, for falling for all this …’ She gestured at the space between them.
The lump of ice wedged inside Daniel’s chest hardened. She thought he was a spy, a double-crosser, a liar. But he was worse than that; he was a coward. He was scared of Chuck, for himself, but more than that, for her. More than he wanted her to like him, tolovehim, he wanted her to be safe. He wasn’t as brave as her; he also wasn’t as foolish.
‘Ore, it’s for your own good …’ he started, but she cut him off.
‘You sound like Henry.’ And then with a sneer, she asked, ‘How much did he give you? More than the original $75k? I’d love to know how much your silence is worth.’
Maybe if she thought he was on the payroll, she would start to understand how far-reaching Chuck’s power really was. She’d realise it was a futile battle. So he said nothing, let her believe what she already seemed to believe.
‘Right, well, there’s quite literally nothing else to say, is there, Captain?’ Her raised eyebrow conveyed devastating disdain. He moved to the side to let her pass, and she slammed the door behind her.
