‘When you rejected me, it felt like my chance at living a normal life was over.’
‘You call this a normal life?’ Sofia gestured around. There they were, sitting on the edge of harbour, legs swinging over the inky ocean at 4a.m., under the glow of the moon and the holiday yachts of the super-rich.
‘Fair point,’ Declan conceded wryly. They sat in a peaceful silence and then Declan got another wind.
‘I’m also pissed at Jack though. He was all like: “You should tell her how you feel; I’m rooting for you, man.” What a load of rubbish.’
Sofia had never seen Declan angry. It didn’t suit him at all. It was strange to think of them talking about her like that, but if Declan thought she had any insight into Jack’s motivations, he was about to be sorely disappointed.
‘To be honest with you, I have no idea what’s going inside that man’s head. Last night he was so...’ She caught sight of Declan’s expression and cut herself off short. ‘Never mind. The point is, he’s all mixed up. You could drive yourself crazy trying to figure him out – take it from me.’
‘Men.’ Declan rolled his eyes, and then they both burst into a fit of giggles.
‘I’m no expert, but it sounds to me like you like boysandgirls. Also, you’re twenty-two, so you’ve got time to work it all out.’ Sofia wanted to ask about Patricio, but she thought better of it. There was only so much soul searching a person could do in one night. Even for the relentless drama mill that was theLady Shelly, this had been a full-on day.
‘I think we should probably go to bed.’ Declan stood up suddenly, and Sofia grabbed onto his leg as he swayed precariously.
‘Easy now, let’s take it slow shall we?’ Sofia draped his arm around her shoulder and they made their way back to the boat. When they reached Declan’s cabin, Patricio opened the door before they got to the handle.
‘Oh thank goodness, I was sick with worry.’ Patricio took over from Sofia, fussing over Declan. Sofia smiled sadly to herself as she walked back to her cabin. Declan was better off without her. Love was supposed to be simple and everything she touched seemed to become more complicated.
Back in her cabin, she paused at the sight of the bottom bunk, stripped and empty. She felt silly as she climbed up the ladder, but it would have been strangely sacrilegious to go to sleep where they had been together. She needed to preserve some proof that it hadn’t just been another dream.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sofia slept in, a rare privilege afforded to her by the absence of Milly and Brian that morning. The longer she stayed in bed though, the more terrifying leaving the protection of her cabin felt. She had to face the captain at some point. As the clock neared twelve, she had already run through a dozen ways their conversation might go.
She hauled herself out of bed and into the shower, channelling her anxious energy into the long put off task of detangling her hair. She stood in front of the mirror and let the worst-case scenario play out in her mind. Sometimes the exercise calmed her, but today the image of her wheeling her case off the boat brought her close to hyperventilating.
She took a deep breath and ventured into the corridor. She was glad not to bump into anyone on her way upstairs. Tentatively she knocked on the door of the office. When the captain opened the door, she was smiling.
‘Come in, Sofia, take a seat.’ If the friendly tone was supposed to ease her nerves, it wasn’t working at all. There were two armchairs on one side of the desk and she stood awkwardly for a moment, paralysed by the choice. Captain Mary sat down and pointed to the chair on the left. Sofia was grateful.
‘Now, Sofia, I’m assuming you know what I would like to talk about today?’
Sofia’s palms were sweaty. ‘I think so,’ she said cautiously.
‘Officer Carter informed me yesterday about your... relations.’ The formality of it all made her feel like the naughty schoolgirl, sent to the principal’s office.
‘I am also assuming that youhaveread my rules and you are aware that we have a no-fraternisation policy when it comes to staff relationships. The only people that are allowed to umm...’ Sofia realised that the captain was probably just as uncomfortable as she was ‘...have sex on this boat, are the guests, and exclusively with each other. Do you understand that?’
‘I do.’
‘Now Officer Carter has told me that it was a one-time occurrence and that you have no plans to repeat your mistakes.’ Sofia flinched at that last word, but she nodded effusively.
‘I think that’s wise,’ the captain continued, ‘and I also think it best that you both exercise your discretion and keep the matter between yourselves.’ Sofia looked down at her hands, visibly ashamed. She heard the captain sigh softly.
‘That is, unless it is too late for that?’
‘I’m so sorry, Captain, I don’t know what came over me. I wasn’t... thinking straight.’
The captain raised an eyebrow. She was unimpressed to say the least.
‘Might I hazard a guess that this lapse in “thinking” was last night?’
Somehow it was going even worse than her overanxious brain could have fathomed. ‘Yes,’ she said, unable to meet the captain’s gaze.
‘Well in that case, I really will have to think about your future on this boat.’ And there they were, the words that Sofia had been waiting, with dread, to hear. ‘If the rest of the crew knows about this dalliance, it really does make it hard for me not to be seen to take action.’ The captain seemed a little exasperated. It was unsettling to see her lose even a fraction of her cool.
