‘She won’t hear about this,’ I insist, maybe a little too vehemently. But it’s true. She can’t. If Bia finds out, it’s going to be another intervention about my life outside of my daughter’s life. And I can’t do that. I made this decision with Jordan knowing I can’t do that.
‘I don’t know. Maybe she needs to.’ Genny raises an eyebrow as she slides down from the chair, pushing it in. ‘Clearly you haven’t listened to me when I’ve tried to tell you it’s okay to—’
‘Not to me, it’s not,’ I finish before she can give me the spiel. I’ve heard it before. ‘I let Tali down last time, Gen. I just can’t do that again. I can’t screw up and cave and let someone in again just for everything to fall to pieces around my kid. Does that make sense?’
‘It kind of doesn’t.’ My sister smiles sadly, the snark and sarcasm in her eyes replaced by sincerity. ‘Not everyone is your ex, you know. But it’s whatever helps you sleep at night, Rod.’
Genny and I exchange our ‘love yous’ and ‘see yous’, and she’s out the door, on her way to tend to the horses, leaving me alone for the first time in … When is the last time I was alone in my own house?
I hate the fact that the first thing my brain does with that situation is fills my mind with bits and pieces from last night.
I won’t lie. It’s not my proudest fun fact, but I’ve had a couple of one-night stands that didn’t amount to much else after Charlotte. I never stuck around long enough to care for more.
Jordan doesn’t work like that. Her skin flush with mine, the sparkle in her eyes when she realized she had me in the palm of her hand, the cold metal of her jewellery against my cheek. And the feeling that filled my entire fucking body when I felt her tense around me like that, pulse after pulse.
I exhale slowly and shakily as I grab my vest off the banister. I don’t know what this is. All I know is that once won’t be enough this time.
Chapter Eleven
Responsible Adults (Instructions Not Included)
Jordan
‘Seriously, Jake? Do y’all buy a new jar of peanut butter every other day?’
Jake grins up at me. There is peanut butter all over this kid’s mouth, cheeks, nose, forehead – how do you manage to get peanut butter on your forehead? I don’t know, but he’s evidently cracked it. This is the fourth exploding peanut-butter sandwich in four days of camp.
‘Come on. Come … Rod! Take him to the bathroom, will you?’ I yell over my shoulder.
Rod startles immediately. Friday had me in shambles all weekend, and clearly, he’s not much better off, considering he’s as skittish as a mouse. Whether it’s because of me or something else, I have yet to know, though I’m willing to bet the fact that I had to haul ass to escape his sister factored into it. Notexactly at the top of your ‘WatchMojo’s Top Ten Moments of Chivalry’.
Beside me, Jake reaches for his lacrosse stick with peanut-butter-covered fingers. ‘NO!’ I yelp, sticking a hand out. ‘Absolutely not. Please go wash your hands with Coach Rod, Jake.’
He gives me another devious snicker before clambering to his feet and plodding along behind Rod to the bathrooms just outside the field fence. I glare at the peanut-butter globs all stuck in the grass with malice. ‘How on earth do you do it, Lyla?’
Hands on her hips, she shakes her head disapprovingly. ‘I don’t. I’ve given up on him.’
‘Fair enough.’ I take one last bite of my own salad, before packing the container in my lunch bag and clapping my hands. ‘Let’s go! Back at it!’
As the kids scramble to pack up, chatter still abounding in the bleachers, Benny hustles up to me. ‘And here – ’ he holds out a clear cup filled with my usual wonderful, delectable chai latte – ‘is a chai for you.’
‘Benny.’ I raise an eyebrow at the guy. ‘You’re supposed to be my boss. You ask me to get you chai. Not the other way around. What’s goin’ on?’
‘Just a token of our appreciation!’ he protests, but his left eye is twitching suspiciously. This shit’s no token. Benny is hiding something.
‘Tell me,’ I demand, although I accept the chai happily.
‘Wait …’ He pauses, lips pursed. Then, ‘Did Rod tell you? He told you, right?’
‘Told me what?’
‘Oh …’ Benny sucks in a breath. ‘Maybe this is my problem to tell you about, actually. About Declan.’
‘Who?’ Declan? Who is this dude? Also, what a name, but irrelevant. ‘Who’s Declan, now?’
‘Our camp nemesis.’ Benny pauses again. Poor thing literally has regret in his eyes. ‘Are you sure Rod didn’t tell you?’
‘Yep. Start me at square one.’
