‘I do have to say.’ He gives my back a firm pat before pulling away and regarding me with pride. ‘You took everything this season gave you and turned it into yourmagnum opus. I’m afraid, Darien, you will never be able to top the year you’ve had.’
That gets a laugh out of me. ‘I’ll find a way.’
‘Then there’s only one thing left for me to do.’ Demir holds out a hand, looking me in the eye with a grin. ‘I’m giving you the next three years with this team. YouandRedenção, if you’re ready for the fantastic change this will bring about.’
I’ve waited all year for this. And I’m finally a handshake away.
I took the brunt of a vehicular collision, recovered in a fraction of the expected time, suffered reinjury, had my heartmended, broken, and now mended again, and I’m a handshake away.
If Demir notices my eyes welling up again when I give his hand a firm shake, he doesn’t say anything.
Shortly after, the entire crowd dissipates, everyone going their separate ways after the grand finale to the Formula 1 season. I’m not totally sure I can believe it’s over, and I’m not totally sure where I go from here, to be honest. This Championship was my finish line for such a long time that I’ve never really thought beyond it. Yeah, I’ll go home, back to California, bask in the title with my mom, who’s in the States now. We’ll have a family Christmas, family New Year’s, and then it will be February again. Redenção will shift to the Ring, Heidelberg will start training our young talent, Brazil will get her time in the limelight. The season will come, and then it’ll go, and then we’ll do it all again, and again, and again, hopefully for a good, long time.
I wrap an arm around Shantal as she sits down beside me on the podium, the Brazilian flag coming with me so it engulfs us both from behind like a sort of blanket. She lets her head fall to my shoulder, and I press a kiss into her hair.
‘I think I might stick around,’ she whispers.
‘Where?’
‘In your world. This world.’
‘You …’ I almost can’t believe it. ‘Wait. You’re gonna leave England to …’
‘You’ve won it all, haven’t you? You know Conquest is joined at the hip with Heidelberg now. I’m sure you knowdamnwell I’ll do whatever it takes to personally stay with the team for round two.’ Shanni beams, and I think she beams for herself, a little gesture that melts my heart. ‘I never thought this …push, straight out of my comfort zone, would give me my life’s passionback. And besides, I can’t leave you again,’ she says, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. ‘It’s about time I loved for the sake of loving, is all I know.’
‘Even if that means suffering through another season of this crap?’ I remark, more as a joke than anything else, but Shanni’s smile in return is full of resolve.
‘Especiallyif that means suffering through another season of this crap. With you.’
And in that moment I know that no matter what next season has in store for us, no matter how difficult it gets, it will be easy for the both of us. Easy in the way our bodies are made to hold each other, the way our hearts don’t need to share feelings; in the way that, off the track, I won’t have to worry about counting deltas and wasting time.
I’ll already know that every second belongs to the one I love.
ONE MONTH LATER
Chapter Sixty
Shantal
The entirety of the Formula 1 universe, it seems, has gathered in Santa Maria del Mar on this chilly Saturday afternoon, cramming the pews shoulder to shoulder in dresses and suits. As cold as the weather may be outside, it doesn’t stop the guests filing in from creating a special sort of humidity inside the church. I add a little extraoomphto the fancy hand fan I’ve borrowed from Diana, who’d been bustling around so quickly since morning that she’s got to be on the verge of bursting a blood vessel. You couldn’t tell, though. That’s part of why I adore being on the inner workings of Formula 1 so much. The public sees one thing when they look at the drivers – like Diana, who will put up a strong front when she needs to – but I get to see the real Diana: the raw emotions, the feelings and experiences that I think genuinely make her such a force to be reckoned with.
Darien is still in awe at the church, glancing all around like he’s never been in a church before. I have to elbow him out of hisstupor when the entire room begins to rise, shooting reassuring smiles at the ever-so-nervous Miguel, standing at the front of the church in a suit, hair neatly combed, shadow of a beard in order, the terror apparent in his eyes. The things a powerful woman will do to you, I suppose.
The double doors at the end of the aisle open, and first comes the flower girl, who just so happens to be none other than Henrique Oliveira Miranda himself in a flower crown, throwing petals every which way from a comically small woven basket. Laughter ripples its way through the crowd, and when Darien lets out a particularly loud snort from beside me, clearly amused seeing the baby of Heidelberg Hybridge fully embrace his role, I can’t even bring myself to scold him.
And then she steps into the aisle, Diana Zahrani, the driver who strikes fear into the hearts of those on the grid. She exudes grace and poise, in a stunning long-sleeved white dress, lace climbing down the bodice into a skirt so full she looks as if she’s floating. The veil trails far behind her, edged with bespoke handmade pearl beading. Tears prick my eyes when I see the ones beginning to trickle down Miguel’s cheeks. It is the realization that Diana, for all the blood and sweat she’s put into sport her entire life, has found someone who truly understands that sacrifice – and loves her all the more for it.
Darien tucks a ridiculously large pack of tissues into my hand as I sniff, nodding knowingly in that dumb, infuriating way of his. I roll my eyes, but I dab at the corners of them, and the guests once again seat themselves while the officiant begins to address us all, declaring the intention of sanctifying this marriage between Miguel Ángel de la Fuente and Diana Heba Firouzeh Zahrani.
Just as he had that night in Imola at the dinner, Darien still feels what I feel strongly enough that he wraps an arm aroundme on instinct: nothing said between us, nothing required. I lean into him, and we watch the most stunning marriage unfold in the church in Barcelona. It is atypical, an Emirati girl and a Spanish boy, both race-car drivers for the top series in the world, but I can’t ever think of a time when typical has been enough. I look to Darien, intently watching Diana and Miguel exchange vows with what I believe is a hint of very slightly watery eyes, and I think of the way I’d have felt being here just over a year ago. Indifferent, pained, maybe even resentful. Believing love to be some sort of trial by fire, something difficult, maybe impossible.
But now I know it isn’t. A very wise man once told me that loving someone doesn’t have to be any harder than we make it, and sitting beside Darien, it all makes sense.
I realize that I am extremely fortunate. Because it is so easy for me to love everything about Darien Cardoso-Magalhães.
Epilogue
Darien
