“You’re a menace.” He kisses her cheek. “Fuck you, Noah.” He flips him off.
Noah reaches into the air, catching something, and then puts it in his pocket. “Love you too, Mark.”
Jamie shakes his head then leans into me. “There’s still time to run.”
“You seem to be one of the few sane people in this place. I don’t even want to know how you got here with him.” Noah and Jamie couldn’t be further alike. There’s opposites, and then there’s whatever the fuck this is.
“Oh! Oh! I’ll tell you!” Noah exclaims. “Me! Me! Me!”
“Fuck,” Jamie whispers.
Noah bounces over, grabbing Jamie and looping his arm around him. “It’s a daring story. Full of adventure, danger, and dildos.”
“Jesus Christ.”Jamie closes his eyes.
Noah lets go of Jamie, pushing me into a chair. “It was a dark and stormy night...” he embellishes with his hands waving wildly.
“Literally not raining, but okay,” Mark whispers.
“You see, I became exiled from my childhood home after a daring night with a scoundrel I met at a gay club. We began to have oral relations.”
“Make it stop,” Jamie whispers.
“My father, you see, is what we in my humble village call a homophobic loser dickwaffle.” Jamie’s brows pull together as he watches Noah. “Alas, I embarked on my journey, bruised and battered, until I dropped onto the doorstep of this kind gentleman with giant muscles, thick chest hair, and a giant maypole.”
“Maypole?” Hunter asks.
“Your dick, Hunter. Please don’t interrupt me.”
“It’s not that thick.” Hunter frowns, rubbing his chest, asking Mark, “Am I that hairy?” Mark just rolls his eyes.
“As I was saying...” Noah glares at them. “Without nary a choice in sight, I asked if I could lay my head down a night or two.”
“Why is he talking like that?” Bri whispers.
“He’s been reading this Victorian gothic romance series.” Jamie shakes his head.
“Then, to my surprise, Puck Sire caught feelings for me. Deep, pathetic, sexually aggressive feelings. I can’t even blame him. He’s been in an emotionally and sexually malnourished relationship for years.”
I glance at Mark, but frown when I see Jamie whisper something in Hunter’s ear. His brows scrunch but he smirks, nodding. I watch Jamie walk behind Noah, who’s flailing his arms and embellishing every unhinged word.
“Then I attended a gathering of friends, and alark! Alas? No, alark sounds right. Who do I see across the room? Only the most gorgeous man I have ever laid my eyes on. Sure, did he look like he wanted to kill me? Of course. But there was danger in the air that night, and I was in the mood to flirt with peril.
“Then Jamie collapsed to the floor. Dropped to his knees. His soul left his body! Love at first sight. Jaw on the floor! Dick?—”
“Noah!” Hunter groans.
“Noah.” Jamie says softly.
Noah turns a bit, and Jamie is on one knee. His face falls when he sees his boyfriend. “What are you doing?” he asks, breaking character.
“That’s not quite right, but how about this. I did not want that party to happen. I certainly didn’t expect to be emotionally assaulted that night. I wanted to hang out with friends and drink a little, and gain back a bit of who I was before that car accident.” Jamie opens the tiny box. “What I got instead was you.”
Noah’s hands fly to his mouth.
“It wasn’t love at first sight. I fell in love in stages. Denial, because I could not believe someone as beautiful and as amazing as you could ever love someone like me. Then panic, because for the first time in so long I felt like I had something to lose. I had someone to be better for. Then relief, because for so long I’d been so sad. So alone. Or I felt alone. What I thought I wanted was silence, but you make everything so loud and terrifying and sometimes a bit crazy.”
Mark snorts. “Understatement.”
