Not that she’s buried here. Ivan made quick work of her cremation, and I have no idea where he scattered the ashes. Not that I care. I don’t. Right? No, I don’t. Hope is evil, and I have way too much of that right now.
Maybe he’s tired of traveling with a child. It’d be easier without Katya. Then again, he knows I’d kill to give her a normal life, and Ivan likes to play with his food.
I don’t know if he loves her. He’s not outright awful to her, and she’s heavily protected in that house. No one with a sliver of a brain in their skull would fuck with one of Ivan’s kids. Still, she’s not being taken care of the way a child needs.
And I fucking miss her.
“Can’t very well go in there and just start looking, can I?” I need a plan. “Just going to go down and look around. I’ll buy something.” Maybe I could break in after hours, although that’s more Koda’s thing.
“Want me to go with you?”
I look at Koda, and sometimes when I look at him, I realize how much he’s grown. I guess both of us have. He’s not the same annoying fuckin’ kid who used to follow on my heels everywhere I went. It was annoying.
He’s still annoying. He’s just bigger now.
Taller than I am by a few inches too.
He shakes out his hair. It’s naturally gray. The guards used to call him names when he was little, and I know he secretly hates it. I don’t know why, though, it looks fine. His eyes slide to me then narrow. “The fuck you looking at?”
“Wondering how so much stupid can fit inside such a skinny body.”
I’ve barely gotten the words out before he shoves me hard. My world tilts as I slide off the hood, landing with a thud in the dirt. “Fuck you. I’m not small.”
I stand, dusting off the ass of my jeans, and wave him off my hood. Better get this shit over with. I open the car door and turn to Koda, who’s kicking the dirt. “How’s Katya?”
He shrugs. “She’s fine. Hates school.” He laughs. I just want to see her. I hate how jealous I am of him. “I told her that Dad wouldn’t let you get her off the bus. It’s okay. She’s fine.”
It’s not fine. Nothing about this is fine. I hate disappointing her.
“She shouldn’t have to keep moving.”
“It’s going to be fine. You’ll get that fucking statue and then both of you will leave me here and never see me again. Everyone wins.” He mumbles that last part, and I try not to let those words burrow deep. It’s not that I care about Koda or anything that happens to him. I don’t. Still, he hates Ivan as much as I do. Maybe more. The only thing that offers him any protection is blood.
“You can visit, you know.”
He snorts. “Sure thing. I’ll just use the endless amounts of money and freedom I have and do just that.”
“Koda—”
“It’s fine, Aiden. Do what you do best.”
I stand with my door open. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He doesn’t answer, he just spins on his heels and walks down the path.
Fuck him, then.
I don’t have time for this.
Just like lastweek the bakery is dead, even though it’s only about two in the afternoon. It’s a small space with dozens of places to sit throughout, and although there’s a coffee station, it has no coffee, mugs, or creamers. It’s practically bare. I’m not at all surprised to find no one here.
If I didn’t know better, I would have thought it was closed.
“I’ll be right there,” I hear from the back.
It’s a neat and clean space. Nothing extraordinary. Sterile. There are wooden chairs with green tables spread throughout, and there’s a couch in the back with magazines on top of a coffee table. I’m sure it’s meant to make customers feel at home, but itlooks like a doctor’s waiting room. The walls are a nice shade of green—maybe like a moss color—but the only bursts of color are lilies in pots and hangers throughout the bakery.
It doesn’t feel like a bakery.
I walk up to the glass counter and look at what he has out. Less desserts than the other day but I see something that makes me smile.
