It’s in his actions. His delivery sometimes needs work, but Aiden loves his family deeply. Katya, and even Koda although he won’t admit it.
And me. I know he loves me.
“What’s going on?”
“Well, you’re going to take a shower.” I smile. “I assume you’ve been in the woods since everything happened.”
“This is ridiculous. I’m not your problem.”
“No. You’re right. You’re not my problem.” I walk up to him, grabbing his wrist and dragging his ass down the hall, though I know Aiden could break out of my grip if he wanted to. I lead him into the bathroom. “You’re my boyfriend. The worst boyfriend I’ve ever had.” I think I see a tiny smile try to slip. “Now strip and take a shower.”
“No.” Aiden’s stubborn lip tightens. Ignoring him, I turn the shower on and let the steam of the shower tempt this stubborn man. “What are you doing?”
“We’re showering.”
“Just leave me alone. I don’t want?—”
“I love you. I love you a lot. You did a really shitty thing. Instead of talking to me and telling me the mess you were in, you lied to me. Even though I know you didn’t want to. I understand why you did it. I’d do anything to help my sister too. I get it. I get it more than most. What I’m pissed about now is that since everything happened, you’ve tucked your fucking tail between your legs and scurried back to your car in the woods without talking to me, as if what we had could be easily forgotten.”
“Sawyer—”
“The sad part is, I know you actually thought that I wouldn’t fight for you. That simply because you disappeared, I’d forget you. Like everyone else in your life. You thought I’d abandon you, and I’m not quite sure if that’s because of how devastatingly shitty people have been to you, or that you truly think so little of me to believe I’d just move on.”
“Sawyer.”
“I love you, Aiden. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. I refuse to let you stay in those woods waiting to die. If you want to shower alone, that’s fine. I understand. If you don’t want to be with me... fine. I understand. But stop fucking lying to me. You’re going to shower either way, whether you want me or not,and then you’re going to sleep in a warm bed, with me or not. I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t care. Then in the morning we’re going to find Koda and get Katya and bring her here.”
“What?!” Aiden’s eyes widen.
“I ordered a bed and some other things to start. I’m turning that spare room into a bedroom. For her. She’s moving here. Koda can’t take care of her on his own, and he wants to move and go live with Kenji. I won’t let my family down. Ever. So, while I am so fucking pissed you kept things from me, I understand why you did it. I understand you.”
Aiden stares at me a moment, his eyes wavering. I’m barely holding myself together at this point.
“Shower with me, please.” His voice is so quiet. My heart breaks a little more.
Aiden reaches behind him, taking off his shirt. I follow, letting my own clothes drop as he quietly takes off the rest of his. I try not to let my eyes linger on his body too much, but I can’t help noticing how even after only two weeks he looks so much thinner. I wonder if he’s eaten much.
Food next, then.
“Come on.” I reach for him and take a breath when his hand is in mine, and I lead him to the shower. We get in and I bring the soap to his chest. In the silence I clean him up, noticing the sharp rise and fall of his breath.
“Why?”
I keep my eyes on his chest as I clean him. “Because I love you.” I trail the sponge along his stomach, watching his muscles flex under it. “Because I know that while you hurt me, you did what you had to.”
“I betrayed you.”
“You wanted to save your sister.” I swallow. “Our sister.”
“I hurt you.”
I nod, focusing on his body and turning him gently to clean his back. “You did.” I feel him shudder under my fingers. I’m losing him again. I can be angry. I could beat him up over this. But no one is hurting him more than he’s hurting himself right now. “I also know that you’re sorrier than I can even understand right now.”
When he’s all soaped up, I hang the sponge on a hook and wrap my arms around him.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
He melts in my arms, and I want to take every bit of pain and sadness away from him.
