“I’m sorry, Theo. That’s gotta be hard.”
I’m not sure why I thought I couldn’t talk to him about this. Some part of me wonders if maybe I thought I was too broken for kindness, or like if I shared my brokenness with him, it would make everything worse.
“So, basically, after I left your house and went home, I spiraled, and it just got worse and worse until I started…” I pause when my throat tightens. “I thought about killing myself,” I say, eyes falling to the table.
Luca makes a strangled noise, but I’m not sure I can look at him. “Theo,” he whispers.
I hold a hand up because if I don’t get this out, I’m not sure I ever will. “I ended up coming here instead. Showed up in the middle of the night. Hunter fed me, helped me bathe, and let me sleep. God, I was so exhausted.”
“When did it get bad?” Luca asks, and I force my gaze up. “Was it around the time you stopped talking to me?”
I nod. “It was always rough, but it was just… impossible there for a while. I lost my job. Hard to keep one when you can’t show up, and then when Hunter took me home to get some clothes since I came here with nothing, there was an eviction notice on my door.”
“Fuck,” Luca says, slumping against the seat. “And now? Are you okay now?”
I do a so-so motion with my hand. “I’m getting there. I’m taking an antidepressant now, and it’s a lot easier. Plus, I think just being here helps so much. Silverpine is really something special.”
Luca smiles. “Silverpine? Or Hunter?”
That makes me laugh. “Both, really.”
Sobering, Luca leans forward, crossing his arms on the table. “How did everything happen with you and Hunter?” I’m opening my mouth to speak when he shakes his head. “No. None of my business. You don’t have to tell me.”
“I don’t mind.” I shift in my seat to get more comfortable. Next time I have a heart-to-heart with someone, I’m doing it on the couch. “So, when I went home, he texted me, and then it just progressed. I already liked him. And I don’t know… the more we talked, the more that was true.”
“He’s a good person,” Luca says, nodding.
“He is,” I agree.
Luca’s eyes sparkle. “So are youin love?” he asks, drawing out the words in a playful voice.
Am I? I think I easily could be. “Not yet.”
Eyebrows shooting up, Luca snorts. “Just a matter of time, huh?”
I shrug. “Yeah, if I’m being honest. Unless he just ends up being a piece of shit, but I can’t see that happening.”
“No.” Luca shakes his head. “He’s a good guy. Known him my whole life. We used to be friends. Growing up, that is. Then Idon’t know. I was obsessed with Austin, and we just got closer, and everyone else kinda… drifted. After that, obviously, Damien happened. Do you think he’d wanna come hang out with us?”
I’m sure he probably would, right? He said they all used to be close. “Yeah, I think he’d like that.”
We sit in silence for a second. “You know you can come to me if you need me, right?” Luca asks softly. “When you were upset with Hunter and you came to my house, I thought that was a turning point for us.”
I nod, my throat tightening. “I struggle pretty hard with feeling like I’m a burden to people. I didn’t want to put that on you.”
Luca shakes his head. “Put it on me, Theo. That’s what friends are for. I want us to be friends. Isn’t that what you want?”
So much that I can’t breathe. I’m sure there will still be times that I need to work through some lingering big emotion where Luca is concerned, but that’s between me and Charlotte. Or me and Hunter. Luca is healing and moving on. It’s time for me to do the same.
It’s time forbothof us to do that. Hopefully together.
“Yes. I definitely want us to be friends.”
His smile takes over his entire face. “Okay, great. So… What’s your plan?”
“My plan?”
He nods. “Yeah, like, are you staying in town? Are you planning to go back to the city?”
