“I’m not alone right now, though,” he says softly, dragging his fingers over the top of her head. “I’ve got you.”
My heart clenches.
“I just don’t get it,” he continues, still absently stroking Lila. “He’s so… happy. How is he so happy after such a short amount of time? What am I doing wrong?”
It doesn’t take much to figure out he’s talking about Luca. He thinks he’s sharing his thoughts alone, and this is not information I should be hearing.
Slowly, I back away from the door, then come back, making sure my boots are loud enough to be heard as I approach.
I step through the door of the barn, and Theo is on his feet, eyes wide with alarm. When he sees me, he places a hand over his chest. “Shit. You scared me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were out here.”
His eyes dart away. “Fuck, I shouldn’t be. I’m sorry. It’s just… I couldn’t sleep, and I needed to walk, and then I heard something in here, and the baby goat was crying. Sorry,” he repeats, then walks quickly toward the exit. “I shouldn’t have come out here.”
“Wait—hey!” I say, blocking his escape path. He freezes, his blue eyes finding mine. “It’s okay.”
His chest is heaving, and I think it’s because he’s worried about getting in trouble for being out here, so I wave the bottle in the air. “Do you want to feed her?”
He stops in his tracks, eyes widening. “Wait…Really?”
I smile. “Yeah. It’s feeding time.”
His eyes shoot between mine and the bottle. “I don’t know how.”
That’s not a no. “It’s real easy. I’ll show ya.”
After a brief hesitation, he nods. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”
Making my way over to Lila’s pen, I unlatch her door, then wave Theo in after me. Lila, as always, is happy to see me. She’s trotting around and making the most adorable bleating noises.
“She’s cute.”
I turn to Theo. “She is. Her momma died during birth, so now we’ve gotta bottle-feed her.”
He frowns. “Oh. That’s sad.”
“It’s part of living on a farm. Happens from time to time.”
I sit down in the hay, then pat the ground next to me. After a moment, he sits down beside me, and I hand him the bottle.
“I really don’t know what to do,” he says as he takes it from me.
“It’s easy.” I scoop Lila up and place her on his lap. As soon as I do, she noses at the bottle, her little sounds ticking up until she’s nearly screaming at us.
“Whoa,” Theo says. “Maybe I shouldn’t do this.”
I shake my head. “Just nudge her lips with the bottle. She can smell it, but she’s still figuring it out.”
He does what I told him, and she latches on instantly.
For a few seconds we sit in silence, then Theo breaks it. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, watching Lila damn near inhale her milk.
“This.” He stares down at Lila, his eyes a little dim. He looks so… sad.
“How was your visit with Luca and Austin?”
