My heart lurches at the memory. At Damien’s charges. At what he did to Theo.
If I close my eyes, I can still picture the photo of Theo’s torso. Can still see the stitches running from under his nipple, all the way across his stomach, and down to his hip. Can still feel the rough, textured skin under my fingertips.
It haunts me.
“I didn’t want to tell him I knew because I thought it would be a kindness to let him tell me himself if he felt comfortable.”
“In some ways, it was,” Luca says, turning sideways on the couch and pulling his knees up to his chest. “In other ways, it made him feel exposed to find out you already knew. And for a survivor, feeling exposed feels really fucking unsafe.”
I nod, my throat so tight now I can hardly breathe. I never meant to make him feel unsafe.
“For what it’s worth,” Luca says, “I don’t think he really blamed you. I think he was just triggered.” He goes silent. “He awes me, you know? He’s overcome so much, and with so much less than I had. I don’t know how he did it.”
I’m also awed by him. He really is the epitome of strength. The irony is that he feels the same way about Luca that Luca does about him.
“He’s amazing,” I say, since I’m not sure what elsetosay. Sitting around here isn’t going to do me any good, and I’vealready taken up enough of Luca’s time. I pat my thighs nervously, then push to my feet. “I guess I’ll head out.”
Luca stands when I do. “Here, give me your number. If he texts back, I’ll let you know.”
He hands me his phone, and I type my number in before giving it back to him. “Thank you.”
“No problem. I hope you hear from him soon, even if I don’t.”
I nod, walking to the door as Luca follows me. I’ve just cleared it when his voice stops me, and I turn to face him.
“You care about him?”
I nod.
“Good. Be patient with him. The things he endured…” Something flashes through Luca’s eyes, like he’s picturing all the thingshewent through, before he shakes himself out of it. “Just—be patient with him.”
“I will. I promise.”
“And Hunter?” he says when I start to walk to the truck.
“Yeah?”
“Be patient with yourself too.”
Icouldn’teatdinner.I just couldn’t shake the idea that something was wrong. Mom went to bed an hour ago, and now I’m pacing a hole in my bedroom floor, tapping my phone off my palm.
Pulling up Theo’s contact, I call him. It rings and rings, and when his voicemail picks up, I leave a message.
“Hey, Theo. It’s me again. Hunter. I’m really worried about you. Can you please call me back? Or just text, even. Just… anything to let me know you’re okay. Please. I promise if you want to be left alone, I’ll leave you alone. I just—”
A rapid knocking cuts me off, and I pause, listening.
There’s another sharp rap, and my soul almost leaves my body when I realize it’s someone knocking on the front door. I’ve only had to visit next of kin once—for a fire that I worked with Austin and Jasper on. We lost someone, and I had to deliver the news to the family.
That’s how I know there’s never a good reason for someone to be knocking on your door at midnight.
Not one single reason.
“Just call me, please,” I say, my voice shaky.
I hang up just as the knocking picks up again. I don’t even know who it could be, and my feet carry me down the stairs in a trance. My stomach is rolling and knotted, and I’m suddenly thankful I didn’t eat dinner.
There’s another knock as I approach the door, and I take a deep, calming breath, hoping and fucking praying there isn’t bad news on the other side of it.
