“Would,” he says, “but I’m out of comfy clothes. This’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure I’ve got something you can wear.” I eye him. He’s smaller than me, but not by much in terms of height. Maybe a couple of inches shorter. The real difference is in his build. He’s lean and lithe, with a trim waist. I can’t help but wonder how much of that is because he forgets to eat. Or worse, doesn’t have the energy to feed himself.
“Really?” he asks.
“Sure.” Heading to my dresser, I pull out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. They have a drawstring, so he should be able to tighten them if needed. I hold them out to him, and he takes them, disappearing into my bathroom.
While he’s gone, I quickly change, slipping into a pair of shorts myself and pulling an old t-shirt over my head.
I’m turning down the blankets when Theo comes out of the bathroom.
“Are you sure this is okay?”
I nod. “Course. As long as you’re comfortable.” He seems to be thinking it over, arguing with himself internally. If I had to guess, he’s about to bolt, but the truth is, I could use some company myself. “If you don’t want to hang out, that’s okay, but I could use some company.”
That seems to surprise him. “What?”
My throat feels like someone’s wrapped it in wire, so I clear it. I’ve been a mess since I talked to Mom earlier. They say grief comes in waves, and it’s definitely a big wave today. “Just missing Dad,” I say. “I don’t really wanna be alone, either.”
He swallows hard. “Alright.”
“Alright,” I echo, turning back to the bed. “I’m not sure what you wanna do. If you wanna sit under the blankets or—”
Before I can even finish my sentence, he’s rounding the bed and crawling into the spot beside mine. I can’t let myself think about how good he looks there. This isn’t that.
He sighs, settling into the mattress, his eyes falling closed. “Holy hell, every bed in this house is so comfortable.”
My lips turn up. “All of them? You been testin’ them out?”
His lips twitch with the start of a smile. “No. Just this one and mine. Both are comfortable, though, so I’ve gotta imagine the rest are too.”
I climb in next to him, pulling the blankets up and covering myself.
When I’m settled, he rolls onto his side. He looks tired, sure, but not sad. Not like before, anyway. “Tell me about your day,” he says, though it comes out more like a question. “What did I miss?”
Rolling over so I’m facing him, I sigh. “Not much, really.”
“Did you go riding?”
I nod. “I did. Took Lucky out. I think he misses Dad too.”
Silence falls, and for some reason I can’t bring myself to look away from Theo’s eyes. He seems to feel the same. Normally, he doesn’t hold eye contact long, but as the quiet stretches between us, he doesn’t look away either.
Finally, he breaks the silence. “Can I ask what happened?”
“With Dad?”
“Mhmm. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”
“No, I don’t mind. He, uh… he was out shoveling snow and collapsed. Widowmaker heart attack.” Theo frowns, his eyes filled with sympathy. “They tried to get him back, but he was gone before they even got him to the hospital.”
“I’m sorry,” Theo whispers. “I wish I had better words.”
I shake my head. “You don’t need better words. Your company is enough.”
Silence falls between us again as Theo studies my face. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Think so. Comes and goes in waves, y’know?”
