I nod, my eyes falling closed. “Try to, please.”
“I’ll be back soon, then.”
My body slumps backward, and I let it, too tired to fight it.
Chapter 8
Theo
Iboltuprightfroma dead sleep, throat dry. Stumbling to my feet, I fumble my way through the dark to the bathroom.
I have no idea what time it is. The middle of the night, obviously, but outside of that, I have nothing. Flipping the switch on the wall, I blink against the blinding light. I catch sight of my face in the mirror and quickly look away. I hate seeing my eyes when I get like this. The emptiness. The dullness. The darkness.
No light inside of me. No light inside of my eyes.
Turning on the sink, I cup my hands under the running water, bringing it to my mouth, and drinking it down greedily.
It’s not like the other day, which is good, I think. I’m not so dehydrated that I can’t function. That I need to drink until I can’t physically hold anything in my stomach anymore.
After shutting off the water, I step back into the bedroom, looking for my phone. Grabbing it from the table next to the bed, I check the time. It’s just after 3:00 a.m., so Hunter is probably outside feeding Lila.
Slipping on my shoes and pulling Hunter’s jacket back on, I leave the room to head outside.
I hope he’s out here. Checking his room first would have probably been a good idea, but I’m already at the front door, and the idea of walking up the stairs and then back down if he’s not… No.
The walk to the barn almost feels familiar, which is stupid because it’s not like I’ve done it all that much. Already I know that if I swing too far to the right, I’m going to step in a hole. I know that up ahead, there’s a small patch of rock. When I first saw it, I wondered why it was there.
I should ask. If I can force myself to talk, that is.
The barn door is already open, and I stand there for a second, my eyes falling on Hunter. He looks half asleep, Lila cradled to his chest and the bottle still mostly full.
“Hunter,” I rasp out, not wanting to scare him again.
He turns quickly, his lips quirking up a bit at the corners when he spots me. “Theo.”
Something about him saying my name makes the pulsing ache in my chest lessen. I’ve never been around another human who makes me feel so… No, not going there. That’s a dangerous thought.
But then… I’m leaving. I’m leaving, and what’s the harm in leaning into that? He’s not going to turn into Damien in the next three days. At least I don’t think so.
His thumb idly traces Lila’s ear, and I zero in on that motion. I never saw Damien interact with animals this way. He was cold. Even to them. Worse than with me. My stomach aches at the memories, but I try to shake them away.
“Do you want to come sit down?”
“What?” I hear myself ask.
Hunter pats the hay next to him. “Sit?”
My feet carry me across the barn, and I find myself sitting next to him, close enough that I can feel the heat of his body, and his elbow brushes mine when he carefully shifts Lila.
“I’m sorry.”
He cocks his head. “For what?”
I wave a hand through the air, hoping it can somehow convey everything I’m apologizing for.
After studying me for a second, he nods toward Lila. “Do you want to feed her? I tried to wake you earlier.”
I shake my head. I mean, I do, but he’s already got her, and judging by the greedy little sounds she’s making as she sucks down her bottle, she’s perfectly content where she is.
