‘Hot blooded, smart, spirited, fast. Temperamental.’ He laughed. ‘Sierra, the Thoroughbred is your spirit animal – even if you can’t admit it yet.’ He sobered, said, ‘Don’t you want to go say hi?’
Sierra hesitated, afraid that she couldn’t bond with another horse yet, and, worse, afraid that shecould. She looked at the huge horse right as he turned soulful brown eyes on her. When she didn’t move, he stretched his neck and raised his upper lip as if to say: We both know you can’t resist this charm.
Sierra laughed. ‘He has a certain appeal.’
Benji linked their fingers and led her down the porch steps to the horse. He raised their joined hands and placed her palm flat against the horse’s warm neck. ‘His name’s Ty.’
‘Like Mike Tyson?’ she teased.
‘Like the Beanie Babies,’ he corrected.
Unable to resist, Sierra released Benji’s hand so that she could scratch the horse beneath the throat.
The horse – Ty – leaned into the scratch. His upper lip did that same extended wobble, making Sierra laugh. She couldn’t deny it. She was charmed. ‘Damnit, Benji.’
He wrapped his arms around her from behind, and Sierra let herself lean against him. ‘I know your dad got you Jasper, and that it’s hard to say goodbye, but this guy’s going to be good for you, Si.’
Mav, who had been completely silent until then, said, ‘It’s time.’ He nodded in Ty’s direction. ‘And this horse is the right one.’ He handed her the lead rope, and with one quick hug and a, ‘Happy birthday, Si,’ walked off.
Sierra’s heart swelled, and as much as it hurt to remember her dad leading her out on her tenth birthday and showing her Jasper, who had been a feisty two-year-old at the time, Sierra reached out and took the lead rope.
She looped it over the horse’s neck and through the halter ring, finished it in a loose knot in lieu of reins.
Seeing what she intended, Benji linked his hands to give her a boost up. ‘You go slow until you know him, Sierra,’ he instructed, his tone firm. ‘He’s seven. He’s been trained in dressage and started on jumping. I’ve worked with him a few times; he’ll go in any direction you choose to take him. But—’
‘He’s a new horse in a new environment,’ Sierra finished as she swung up onto Ty’s bare back. ‘I won’t be reckless.’
She took him around at a walk, sitting on his back as he rambled and occasionally stopped to graze, and by the time she brought him back to the front porch, she was grinning.
Benji sat on the front stairs, watching her as she approached. ‘And?’ he asked, his tone cautious.
Sierra brought Ty to a stop right in front of him. She didn’t say that the horse was perfect and that she adored him already. She met Benji’s green eyes, filled with concern, and she said, ‘I love you so much, Benji.’
He smiled, but Sierra saw the relief in him too. And it only made her love him more. Because Benji was a man who would always push her to do the things she was too afraid to do, and more than that, he would always wait for her to come back so that he could check she was okay himself. And it made her feel so safe in his love.
Chapter 29
Hunt Ranch, Santa Barbara County – December, 2025
Although Sierra had spent a week helping her event staff plan the New Year’s party, she didn’t attend. She was too afraid that she’d see Benji there, too afraid that he’d see everything in her heart just by taking one look at her face. Things like:I’m scared, I love you, please don’t leave me. Stay.
And it wasn’t fair to keep him chained to her just because she was afraid of finally, actually losing him. So, she stayed home, cuddled between Poppy and Markus on the sofa as they watchedMoanafor the thousandth time.
It was only towards the end of the movie, when Poppy was fast asleep, her head on Sierra’s lap, her little mouth open, that Markus asked, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
There was no point in denying that something had happened. She couldn’t have hidden her heartache even if she’d wanted to. Still, her inclination was to say no, to ignore the problem and pretend she felt nothing. But just then, with Markus, it dawned on her that she had nothing left to lose.
Conscious of Poppy, she whispered, ‘I love him. I think more than he knows.’
He glanced down at Poppy, making sure she was asleep. ‘So, what the F-U-C-K are you doing letting him walk away, babe?’
Sierra laughed tiredly. ‘There aresomany reasons.’
‘Such as?’
She exhaled deeply, reining in her urge to snap out something caustic. ‘He shouldn’t be with someone who may never recover enough to give him what he deserves, for one. Benji … He’s been through so much already. He has shown up for meeverysingle day of my life – even before we were together. And I am currently – potentially permanently – incapable of doing the same. Of being strong for him. I’m so …’ Sowhat?
‘Lost’ wasn’t the right word. There was no right word to describe the gravitational pressure she felt trying to live in the present while the past constantly sucked her backwards. ‘Irredeemable.’ She settled on eventually.
