Sierra wasn’t quite sure how she would survive it. All she was sure of was that, irrespective of how much it hurt now, Benjiwouldmove on. And he would be happy. Eventually, once he had grieved, he would notice one of the many women who always looked his way. Maybe that was enough – to know that the person she loved most in the world would have a better chance at happiness without her?
Momentarily strengthened by the thought, she shakily pushed off the floor. She gingerly picked up her mom’s ring in its box on the opposite side of the desk and then calmly reclaimed her seat in her chair.
She’d had no idea that he’d asked Mav for it again. It hadn’t even crossed her mind. Because while Benji was always fighting to move forward, to move on, Sierra was stuck in a past that refused to let her go even though she knew that she needed to.
She popped the box open to look at the sapphire ring, and then just sat there for hours, remembering.
Chapter 27
Hunt Ranch, Santa Barbara County – September, 2011
‘Bye, Mom! I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home,’ Sierra called as she dashed past the kitchen, dressed in a ridiculous excuse for a denim skirt, a black leather top that laced up the middle and made her boobs look fantastic, and black cowgirl boots.
‘Sierra! Wait a minute, please!’
Sierra came to a halt. She grumbled because it was expected, but she turned and walked back into the kitchen without voicing her frustration. She might have been twenty-one, bold, and fearless. But she was – and always would be – scared of her mom. Nobody wielded Mom Voice like Ava Hunt. Nobody else cut to the core of a problem with small, simple words, leaving a person knowing exactly what they did wrong and feeling sufficiently repentant for it.
‘Yeah?’ Sierra hovered just inside the kitchen, making her impatience clear. Not that she would admit it, but she was meeting Benji. And she was giddy with it – with love and lust and pure, simple joy.
Her mom’s eyes flickered over the outfit, but she didn’t comment. She didn’t need to. Everything she thought was in that one scanning look.
Feeling defensive anyway, Sierra rolled her eyes. ‘I’m twenty-one, Mom.’
Ava sighed. ‘Which is why I’m not going to say anything. And I’m consoling myself with the knowledge that you’re dressing for one man and not a group of strangers in a bar.’
Sierra straightened from her lean on the wall. ‘What did you say?’
‘Oh, please, baby. It’s like you’re both radiating sunlight these days.’
Sierra was shocked. Since that first night, years ago, they had been so careful; sneaking about, going to places where nobody they knew would be, meeting up to make love late at night when the rest of the world was quiet and sleeping. Embarrassed, she began to explain, ‘I didn’t want you to think I was playing with him,’ she said. ‘Because there’re things I want to do with my life still, and Benji would never leave the ranch. And I would never ask him to …’
Ava sat down at the huge family-style kitchen table. She patted the space beside her, and Sierra went and sat without argument.
‘I understand,’ Ava began slowly, ‘why you’d think you would need to keep him a secret, but honey … No. We don’t do that in our family. We love openly and honestly, knowing that we’ve chosen the right partner and that we’re proud of them.’
‘I didn’t say that I loved him.’
Ava reached out and tucked a strand of Sierra’s hair behind her ear. ‘Baby girl, you didn’t need to.’
Sierra groaned and dropped her head to the table with a small thunk. ‘I didn’t want it to be him for a long time,’ she admitted. ‘And then I couldn’t imagine it being anyone else.’ As embarrassed as she was to be having this conversation with her mom, Sierra couldn’t hide her goofy grin. ‘Mom, he’s …everything.’
‘I’m happy for you. Every person should experience what it is to be overfilled with love just once.’ Ava covered Sierra’s hand with her own. ‘But, honey, Benji’s had a tough run. And, somehow, he emerged a strong, loyal,kindman anyway. And when you hide him, it doesn’t only disrespect your dad and me. It reaffirms all those horrible things Benji believes about himself.’
Sierra paled. ‘He knows I love him.’
‘So why on earth are you hiding him?’
She tried to argue. ‘He understands. He agreed that it would be best to be discreet until we could be together more permanently.’
‘Maybe. But maybe he thinks you should keep your relationship a secret for other reasons … Maybe he thinks we wouldn’t approve. Or maybe he thinks you’re embarrassed to be seen with him. Maybe he doesn’t feel good enough …’
‘Benji?’ Sierra actually laughed. Benji might have been the most arrogant person she knew.
Except … Her mom’s words made her think. There was something niggling in the back of her mind. Perhaps the way he’d smiled sadly when he’d agreed that they should keep their relationship a secret. Or the way he constantly dropped what he was doing to cater to her, or the way he gave her everything she wanted, be it time or flowers or a morning ride.
‘Nobody except your dad and I have ever shown –told– Benji how proud we are of him.’
‘I … I suppose I never thought he might need me to.’
