‘It will be,’ Sierra replied confidently. She had, after all, made sure of it.
With Christmas, the wedding, and everything else they had to do on her mind, she regretfully wriggled out of Benji’s arms and climbed out of bed. The chilly morning prickled along her naked skin, making her shiver. ‘It’s freezing.’
She turned to remind Benji what he needed to do in preparation for the wedding and then just stopped when she saw him. He was lounging in her bed, his arm bent behind his head, his abs flexed, his green eyes, dark with all those unspoken things, drinking her in.
She didn’t have to ask him what he was thinking about. She could see the lust in his eyes and felt her own desire bloom in response. Instead of being serious and saying something to woo her, he waggled his eyebrows comically.
Sierra giggled, and the sound was girlish and free. She took a flying leap and landed on the bed next to him, and when his hands found her hips and tugged, she went willingly, flopping on top of him.
Benji’s laugh skittered down her spine.
His big hand wrapped around her nape and pulled, bringing her in for a kiss. And even though she had things to do, even though she knew she was making herself late, Sierra didn’t resist. She returned it, sinking into him even as his hands settled on her naked ass and squeezed.
He pulled back first, and Sierra’s smile faltered when she looked down and into his suddenly serious expression. She brushed his eyebrow with her thumb. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I’m so happy. I feel like it can’t last.’
Sierra knew the feeling exactly. And still, she thought that maybe Benji had more experience in such matters. He had had to fight for every inch of his own happiness since he was a little boy, with a father who couldn’t have cared less and a mother who couldn’t step up for him.
She wouldn’t say it, but she had felt him withdraw into himself since he’d spoken to Silas and cut off both his parents. And although he was hurting, she thought it might be more too, more of that old insecurity in him. And because it –he– astounded her, she summoned some courage, and she gave him more of herself than she’d allowed over the past year. ‘I’m scared too. But this is where we’re meant to be, Benji.’
His grin spread slowly, but it was achingly bright. ‘Fuck yeah, it is.’
Sierra didn’t wait for him to say anything more. She rested her head over his heart, giving comfort. ‘Thank you for waiting for me. I love you. And I admire the man you are.’
‘Don’t thank me – not for that. We’re fated, Sierra.’ Benji’s chest flexed beneath her as he leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. His big hands ran down her naked back, soothing.
‘We are,’ she promised.
He stilled beneath her. His hands on her back stopped moving, and even though she’d meant the words, she also worried that she’d said too much. She didn’t want to withhold her love from him, and she didn’t want to come back to him with caveats, but she also wanted him to understand that she still needed time to find her new normal.
And she didn’t know how long that would take – if ever.
But Benji didn’t push. He just repeated, ‘We are.’
Sierra hopped up before he could say more. ‘I better get going. I can get an hour of wedding prep in before Poppy wakes up for Christmas presents.’ She looked down at her watch. ‘Probably.’
Benji nodded, but Sierra didn’t miss the uncertainty in his eyes. As if he wanted to ask her what she’d meant or, maybe, what shewasprepared to give him.
Fuelled by that old, constant panic, Sierra didn’t give him the chance. ‘Do you have your list of things to do?’
Benji saw the diversion, but he smiled anyway. ‘Yes.’
‘If you lose it, let me know. I took pictures, and I can re-send it—’
‘Sierra.’ When she looked at him distractedly, he laughed. ‘Go. I’ve got you. Everything will be done.’
And Sierra didn’t question it. If Benji said he’d do something, he would do it. Always. And to the best of his ability. ‘Thanks.’ She hurried through to the bathroom to change, and right before she shut the door, she shouted, ‘Love you!’ and it was casual.
It was light.
It was instinctual.
It was like Before.
While Sierra hurried to get a few wedding things done before the family gathered on Christmas morning, Benji went and fetched Poppy’s gift from the barn.
He’d first sensed that it was time for her to have her own horse when she’d been so determined to do everything by herself during their ride together. And, even then, he’d had to convince Mav, who wanted Poppy to have her own horse as much as he wanted everything to slow down just a little bit.
