Benji nodded. ‘Mind if I see him one last time?’ Because it would be a last time. The forgiveness he’d routinely reached inside of himself to find for his father was gone. He’d used it all up. There was nothing left. Not even pity. The excuses Benji had always used for the old drunk had turned to dust in his heart.
‘Of course.’ Bob cleared his throat. ‘Your mom’s in there right now.’
That made Benji’s chest ache with dread, regret and hopelessness. But he brought Sierra’s face, freshly bruised, to the front of his mind, and he powered forward. ‘Two birds, one stone.’
The Sheriff nodded sadly. ‘Go on then.’ Maybe it was Benji’s face, devoid of any emotion, or the way his fists were still contrarily coiled with rage, but the Sheriff added, ‘He’s not worth a beating, Benji. You say goodbye. And then you go live your life.’
Benji nodded stiffly at the warning. He stalked out of the Sheriff’s office and down the hall to where the three little holding cells sat.
It brought bile to his throat to see them there, his mother and father. They stood close, holding hands through the cell bars. His father’s face was repentant, but the façade was ruined by the alcohol bloated features and eyes still unfocused from drink. His mother, her small body brittle, wasting away like a stone tossed into a raging river, was frail and weeping.
Their whispering stopped the moment they heard him and looked up.
His father’s eyes flickered with relief. But his voice was hard and disdainful when he said, ‘’Bout damn time. Pay my bail so I can get out of here, boy.’
His mother winced, but she offered Benji a pleading smile.
‘I’m not here to pay your bail,’ Benji replied. ‘I’m here to say goodbye.’
‘The fuck you talkin’ about?’ Silas demanded. Gripping the bars with both hands, he rattled the cell as if he could break through. His eyes bulged in his face. His cheeks streaked red with rage.
Used to his father’s theatrics – alternating violence and sorrowful apologies – Benji merely stayed silent. Walking to the low bench by the wall opposite the cell, he sat down and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket so that his father couldn’t see the anger roiling in him.
He waited in complete silence until his father’s vicious, hateful cursing turned towards pleading. ‘Come on, Benny, do your old man one last favour.’
Benji had thought it would be easy, but as he sat there, looking at the people who had given him life, all he felt was tormented. While most of his childhood had been bad – sometimes even violent – there had been glimmers of good too. A few happy memories with his father that included a hot day fishing and a Christmas where Silas had gifted Benji a red bicycle. A few weeks later, his dad had sold the bike to pay for the gap his drinking had put in the rent money, but still, the day Benji had received it had been one of the best in his life.
And his mom … Benji had tried too many times to save her, and had his heart broken for the effort, to even go there now.
But through his own pain, he thought about the Hunts. Mav and Sierra hadn’t had an easy go of it. They’d lost their parents. Mav had been left by Shannon and had become a single dad with zero experience. And Sierra had lost Baby Girl. And yet, through it all, they kept going. They kept working, kept trying. They were still such good people, andthatwas all due to Ava and James and the way they’d raised their children.
Benji wasn’t sure what it said about him, but as he looked at his parents, all he felt was disappointment and worse – dislike.
‘I’m not paying your bail, Silas. I’m washing my hands of you. Finally.’ He turned cold eyes on his mother, whose tears flowed openly, and though it about killed him, he added, ‘Of both of you.’
His mother didn’t even speak, only closed her eyes briefly in silent acceptance.
‘The fuck you on about?’ Silas demanded. ‘I’m your sire! Do you know what I’ve sacrificed for you over the years?’
Benji actually laughed at that. ‘Nothing. You sacrificednothingfor me,’ he said slowly. And as a man who would have given anything –anything– to have been able to love and protect and spoil his own child, he couldn’t understand it, couldn’t understand how a parent could be so unashamedly useless. ‘The Sheriff thinks you’re going to serve time this round, and I’m in full support of that.’
Silas roared. He attacked the bars like a wild animal, pounding and thrashing to only his own detriment.
‘Benji—’ his mom began.
‘No,’ he cut her off. ‘I’m sorry, Mom. He hurt Sierra this time. And that’s a line nobody steps over and comes back from.’
His mother’s gaze snapped to Silas. ‘What did you do?’
‘Nothing!’ He spat. ‘The bitch walked into a scuffle and caught a hand for it.’
Before he did anything rash, before he hurt his mom further, Benji said, ‘We’re done. Don’t contact me. Either of you. Don’t call me. And do not go to Hunt Ranch.’ He looked from one to the other, his father so bitter, his mother so sad. ‘Do you understand?’
‘What do you think you’re gonna do when the Hunts tire of you hanging on, huh?’ Silas cackled. ‘You think that little bitch is gonna keep you long? She already got rid of your kid—’
‘Silas.’ The single word from his mother, issued in quiet horror, shut Silas up.
His father actually had the audacity to look ashamed.
