‘I’ll be fine,’ Benji replied firmly. ‘Don’t worry about us. Focus on getting better and planning your wedding. I’ll handle Si.’
He left them to go after her, found her in the kitchen dumping copious amounts of sugar into a cup of milky coffee. Her brown eyes flickered up and dampened when she saw that it was him.
And Benji’s heart broke for the thousandth time.
There’d been a time when her eyes had lit up for him, when those same eyes had darkened with need – forhim– and both of them had worn the same goofy grins currently on Mav and Nina’s faces.
‘Can we talk?’
‘About?’
‘Sierra …’ he said tiredly.
She sighed and plopped into the chair at the kitchen table before raising both her eyebrows at him as if to say, ‘Well?’
Benji took the seat opposite hers. He linked his hands on the table in front of him and let the silence stretch as he collected his thoughts. He studied her for a long moment. She was still so beautiful, her golden skin unlined at thirty-five, her hair that same lustrous fall of honey-blonde satin he’d loved running his fingers through. He marvelled that she could look exactly the same yet be so different from the woman he had once planned to spend his life with.
The Sierra he had first fallen in love with had been bold and confident and shamelessly determined without compromising her sense of humour and her gentle heart. She’d hounded him for years, pushing all of his buttons – often at the same time – until he’d snapped and broken his vow to never touch his best friend’s little sister. And afterwards, when his panic had set in, she’d made him laugh. She’d pressed those full curves against him and as she’d drifted off to sleep in his arms, she’d promised that everything would work out – and he’d believed her.
But now, though her hair, eyes, and skin were all the same warm browns and golds, Sierra seemed incapable of that warmth she’d once exuded. As if to prove his point, she coolly added, ‘I don’t have all day, Benji.’
‘I know,’ he replied gently, reining in his own temper. ‘They’re holding the job for me in Utah, but only through to the new year. So, I’ll be heading out as soon as Mav’s back on his feet.’
Her eyes shuttered. When she spoke, her voice was cool. ‘Okay. I appreciate you stepping in to help on the ranch. Since the shooting, almost all my hours have gone towards PR and trying to keep the reservations afloat.’ She ran both her hands over her face, as if she was stressed just thinking about it. ‘Thank God for Nina. Having a resident celebrity is a huge draw for the resort.’
Benji wanted to ask if there was anything else he could do to help, but didn’t. It was safer for both of them if he believed that she wanted him gone as soon as possible. ‘Given what Mav and Nina have been through, I’d prefer it if we could get along until I move on. I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible.’
‘All right. I don’t anticipate that being a problem for me,’ she said, her tone clipped, business-like. ‘I don’t go to the stables. You’re barely ever at the resort.’
‘I’ll stay away from the ranch house too.’
Sierra deflated. ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘If you’re going to leave again, you should spend time with Mav while you’re here. We both know he’s going to be going crazy in a few days. He’ll need the distraction, and I can make myself scarce when you’re here.’ She wrapped both her hands around the mug as if warming herself with that small source of heat. ‘Anything else?’
Anything else?Benji thought incredulously.
What happened to us?
Why did you shut me out?
Do you feel anything for me anymore?
Why don’t we talk about the fact that our baby died?
Why do you still plague my every thought?
‘No,’ he said finally. ‘Nothing else.’ He stood to go, to ease that constant pressure in his chest with physical work and the familiar, comforting smell of the stables.
It was only when he reached the hallway that Sierra said, ‘Hey, Benji?’
He turned.
‘Thanks. For the last few weeks.’ When her eyes filled it took every ounce of self-restraint he had not to go to her. Sierra didn’t cry. She turned off. So, he knew how terrified she must have been with Mav in the hospital. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if …’
Surprised by the thanks, Benji gently said, ‘You’re welcome.’ And wanting to comfort her, he added, ‘You know Mav’s not going anywhere …’
‘Yeah.’ She offered him a quick, wobbly smile. ‘Anyway. I appreciate your help.’ She cleared her throat. ‘God knows it wasn’t your responsibility.’
His surprise turned to hurt instantly. He curled his fists as the single statement lashed through him. She’d meant to wound him – they both knew that much.
