‘And think about the pretty dress,’ Sierra offered.
‘Okay, the dressdoesexcite me.’
‘And my team’s photos are going to be incredible.’ Markus neatly folded the invitation in front of him and passed it to Poppy. ‘And imagine Mav, all handsome and emotional, waiting for you at the end of the aisle.’
‘Yeah,’ Nina replied dreamily.
‘And I get to dress up too, Neens!’ Poppy chimed in. ‘We’ll look so pretty.’
‘Heck yes, we will.’ Nina picked up an invite and looked at the delicate font. ‘I do want a wedding. But you guys are going to have to remind me why every few days, okay?’
Sierra laughed. ‘I don’t think that’ll be a problem.’
They worked in companionable silence for a good thirty minutes, each focusing intently on their tasks.
When the timer on the oven went off, Sierra moved the lasagne from the oven to the warming drawer. She grabbed the wine out of the fridge on the way back, topped up their glasses and then sat back down and pulled another blank invitation from the stack. She noticed Markus, bent intently over his task, his eyes distant. ‘Markus, why are you so quiet?’ Typically, he was a ball of unstoppable energy who could talk the ear off an auctioneer.
‘Yeah!’ Nina looked up at him, a frown creasing her brow.
They both watched him closely. Markus didn’t meet their eyes, only continued working on his invitation. ‘I don’t wanna be a downer,’ he said eventually.
‘No.’ Nina argued immediately, ‘This is the friendship circle. We share everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly.’
Concerned, Sierra poked him in the side. ‘Spill.’
‘Juan and I broke up,’ he said quickly, his words spilling into one another in his rush to get them out.
‘What?’ Nina demanded, clearly shocked. ‘Why?’
Sierra didn’t say anything. She just leaned forward and filled his glass to the brim.
‘I thought things were going well, you know,’ he started. ‘I mean, yeah, I’m gone a lot with work these days, but it’s always been good for us. Given us space to do our own thing and breathe a little – at least that’s what I thought.’
‘And he felt differently?’ Nina guessed.
Markus nodded. He didn’t cry but Sierra could see what it was taking him to hold his emotion back. ‘He said he wants more and that he’s not sure I can give it to him without sacrificing my work. And, worse, he said he doesn’t want me tohaveto work less. He wants me towantto work less.’
‘And you didn’t fight him on it?’ Sierra asked.
Marcus took a long drink of wine. ‘My work … God, I love what I do. And I amso good at it.’
‘You’re literally the most sought-after photographer in LA,’ Nina confirmed.
‘Your pictures are beautiful,’ Sierra seconded.
‘And although he wasn’t raised wealthy, per se, I don’t think Juan truly understands what my childhood was like. How hard. And poor. Howdegrading. I mean, I know that I could take less work and maybe enjoy life more, but there’s this dog on my heels …’
‘And every time you stop to rest, he bares his teeth at you,’ Nina added.
‘Exactly. Even though some part of me knows that I’m set, I still feel this urgency to work as much as possible just in case it all ends tomorrow. Staying relevant in Los Angeles is …insanely difficult.’
Nina nodded in understanding. ‘I felt the exact same way before I met Mav. And even though he keeps the dog at bay, I’m very aware that it’s still there. Especially now that I’m taking a break from acting; I know that I need the rest, but I’m also terrified that there won’t be space for me when I’m ready to go back.’
Sierra might not have understood exactly what they were talking about. Unlike Nina and Markus, who had fought tooth and nail for their place in the world, Sierra had been raised with everything. But she wasn’t completely ignorant of their struggle either, because she had grown up with Benji. She had seen him fight his resentment for his parents. She had watched him work like a mule, stubbornly and ceaselessly, even though the horse world wasn’t particularly lucrative unless you occupied the very thin layer at the top. And she knew what it was, in an entirely different way, to have that dog behind you, waiting to bite.
And she knew what it was to lose your person.
Still, she didn’t console Markus. She left that to Nina, who covered his hand with hers and said, ‘We’re here for you. We’ll take it one day at a time.’
