“Thanks for the beer.” Rafferty lifted his toward me in a toast. “Here's to finding out that magic still has surprises in store for us.”
“No kidding. I hope Manny gets comfortable enough with us to tell us his story one day.” I picked at the label on my beer bottle, unsure how to broach the subject of my impending surgery.
Rafferty shifted in his seat. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
I snorted. “I should hope so, if we're considering being mates.”
He gave me a faint smile. “A couple of times now, you've known things that most people couldn’t have known.” He started to reach a hand toward me, then dropped it. “Are you a telepath or something?”
Time to spill the beans. “Not a telepath. I can't read anyone's thoughts.” He hid it well, but I was watching for the subtle relaxation in his body. “I keep it pretty tamped down most of the time, but I'm an empath.”
“An empath? So you... feel what others are feeling?” His forehead was slightly scrunched up. I opened my abilities briefly, checking to see how horrified or scared he might be. I'd learned young to weed people out early before wasting a lot of time on them. Rafferty, however, was emitting curiosity, caution, and worry. Did I dare to be optimistic? What was the most interesting was the worry was for me, not for himself. That had never happened before.
“Yeah, it varies how much I get, depending on how close I am to the person, how strongly they are feeling whatever they're feeling, and of course whether I have my ability opened up or not.”
He nodded, continuing to meet my eyes although he was a little more tense now. “I'm guessing some people don't react well to knowing you can read their feelings.” Holy shit, protectiveness was coming off him in waves, like he wanted to punch anyone who’d hurt me.
I couldn't stop my affectionate smile. “Well, as you can imagine, I don't tell very many people about it. But you’re right. It hasn't gone well in the past.”
“Well, those people are narrow-minded and shitty.” I heard growling, separate from his voice.
“Is that growling sound your wolf?”
He startled. “You can hear him? We’re not even connected!” He looked down, as if checking to make sure we hadn’t accidentally created a connection without noticing.
“Could be something to do with my magic.”
He met my eyes again. “Or that we’re mates.”
“But we’re not mated yet.”
His slow smile was a combination of sly and delighted. “Yet. Does that mean you’re leaning toward agreeing to bond?”
I dropped my eyes to my beer bottle, focusing on picking at the label with my thumbnail. “Maybe. But only after my surgery.”
He waited a few seconds, probably expecting me to elaborate. “I won’t care if you don’t have testicles, Elton.”
I glanced up at him, then back down at my beer bottle. “Not having any balls means I might have trouble getting an erection.” I kept my magic locked up nice and tight. No need to feel the blowback from that bombshell.
“Elton, look at me.” I reluctantly raised my eyes to his. His smile seemed genuine at least. “Sex is only one part of a relationship. I want to be mated to you for you, not for your balls or your dick. Do you think my wolf cares whether you can get it up on the regular or not?”
“Uh, I have no idea.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re not using your magic, are you? Fuck, Elton. Open it up and feel what I’m telling you. I’m not lying.”
“I—” I looked to the side before forcing myself to meet his gaze again. “What if you believe what you’re saying now, but over time it becomes a problem?”
He reached out a hand, then fisted it and slammed it down on his thigh. “Dammit, I just want to fucking hold you.” He closed his eyes, pressing his lips together. Even though my magic was shut down as much as I could get it to be, I still felt his frustration, his desire to reassure me. Was he right? Could I feel him like this because we were meant to be mates? His wolf was whining. I put my beer on the coffee table and wrapped my arms around myself.
Finally Rafferty met my gaze again. “Here’s a question for you, Elton. What if I’m in a horrible accident at a construction site, and my shifter healing saves my life, but my dick is permanently damaged and I can’t ever have sex again. Would you no longer want to be mated to me?”
“What? No, of course not. But that’s not the same!”
He got to his feet and glared at me. “It’s exactly the same!” His wolf howled. Rafferty loomed over me, and if he’d been anyone else, I would’ve felt threatened. But I knew he’d never hurt me. I knew he’d cherish me, care for me. Fuck, I knew he’d love me if I gave him the chance.
I got to my feet as well, forcing him to take a step back to avoid touching me. “I feel like you’d be getting damaged goods, and I don't want you to regret your choice when you could have someone whole.”
He sat down again, putting his elbows on his knees but with his head turned toward me. “I'm not going to regret it. You arewhole. You’ll still be whole, even after the surgery. Your heart is whole, and that's the only part of you I need.”
