I don’t want to lie to him but I know Wes and Ledger are friends. Anything I say will end up in Ledger’s ear, I just know it, and together, they’ll try to stop me. The microwave dings, saving me from answering his question. Wes pulls out the dish, grabs silverware and brings it over to the island. Rather than place everything in front of me, he places it beside me. He leaves to pour a glass of water then he returns to the island and sits beside me.
“My guess,” he starts as he cuts up the salmon and asparagus. “Is that you’re thinking it’s time to move on. Am I right?”
I stare at the food he’s breaking down into small pieces, opting to remain silent on the matter. Wes chuckles.
“I can tell you right now that if you left, the four of us would rip the world apart chasing after you.”
I snort in amusement. “I don’t think I’ve madethatmuch of an impact on your lives. Especially not Rhett’s.”
“You’d be surprised,” Wes says simply as he puts down the utensils and looks over at me. “Rhett still has a moral compass. If he thought you were in trouble, he’d step up to help you. He may be an ass about it, but he’d still be there when you needed him.”
I don’t know about that.
I’ve seen the way he stares at Santi when Santi’s not looking, the heat and longing—dim, but there beneath the haze of cool detachment. He loves Santi, he just doesn’t want to admit it. And he works hard at his job, I’ve seen it myself the first week here. I bet that has to do with impressing Ledger. And when he and Wes chat at the end of the day, Rhett’s words are spoken a bit softer and there’s less tension humming through his body. Rhett knows that Wes is a safe space, where he doesn’t have to be so guarded.
When it comes to me, however, there’s no love lost. He either outright glares at me or avoids me as much as possible, even before the fight the other day. There’s no one I trust less right now than Rhett.
Which is sad because Idosee who he could be beneath his rough exterior and Ilikethe possibility of that other side of Rhett coming to life.
“You’re probably not going to want to hear this,” Wes says slowly as he gives me a sheepish smile. “But you and Rhett are a lot alike.”
A scoff slips past my lips before I can stop it.
“I’m tempted to be offended,” I say, playfully affronted yet only half-joking.
Wes chuckles but then explains. “You both see yourself as separate from the rest of the world. Rhett exiled himself, but you were forcibly exiled by your father. Neither of you know how to be a part of it without the fear of failing somehow. For you, it’s failing to fit in and be accepted. For Rhett, he’s scared of caring about anyone and having them ripped away again.”
Well… shit. I guess I do see some parallels between us. A reluctant smile plays on my lips.
“I’m not sure which one of us would be more disgusted by how right you are, me or Rhett.”
Wes laughs out loud at this, his face brightening. “It’s hard to always be right, but someone has to be so I’ve taken up that torch.”
I laugh with him. As I do, some of the tension I’ve been carrying around with me ebbs away and my heart swells. How is Wes so good at reading people? It’s kind of scary… but I like it. I feel vulnerable yet safe with the large giant sitting beside me.
“Are you ready to hear how you’ve changed me?” he asks after we’ve both stopped laughing.
The mood in the room shifts, thickening with something pleasant but unnamed. I nod curiously. Wesley’s eyes grow hooded. He opens his arms out wide and beckons me.
“Come here.”
I hesitate, only for a second, though. In that second, I question my sanity. This could be a bad idea. Haven’t I had so many of them already? Shouldn't I be learning from my mistakes? Maybe, but I don’t stop as I climb off my stool and into Wes’s lap. He adjusts me so that I’m straddling his legs, his between mine, and I’m facing the plate of food. When I’m settled, he reaches for the fork, stabs a piece of salmon and brings it to my lips.
“Open up,” he orders, his voice growing deep and husky.
I shiver in response, my heart starting to race now. Doing as I’m told, I part my lips and let him feed me. I chew and swallow and Wesley hums his approval. Then he repeats himself, stabbing salmon and bringing it to my lips. This time, as I chew he leans forward and whispers into my ear.
“You’ve reminded me that I have a soul, Blair,” he murmurs. “I’ve been neglecting it, ignoring its presence for too long.”
His free arm wraps around my waist to pull me closer to his hard chest. He smells of woodchips, campfire, and chocolate. It’s a perfect, calming scent and I want more of it. I suck in a deep breath and in response, a shiver slides down my spine. There’s no doubt that Wes can feel it, holding me as tight as he is.
“The first time I laid eyes on you, it was like waking up from a dream and realizing I’ve slept too long and wasted so much time. I’m weak and hungry.” His voice shakes as he feeds me another bite. It’s not until I close my lips around the salmon that he continues. “It’s not a hunger that food will sate. It goes deeper than that, Blair. This ache inside of me, it’s my soul telling me that it’s starving for something real. I can feel it thrashing around, trying to reach the thing it craves the most.”
Wes shifts his hips and I can feel the length of him against my butt. My face heats and another shiver rushes down my spine. His lips skim across the back of my neck as Wes feeds me another bite of food, this time it’s garlic and cheesy asparagus.
“I want this,” Wes whispers as his arm, banded around my waist, shifts and his hand lands flat on my stomach. It trails upwards until he roughly grabs my breast.
I gasp in surprise. “Wes?—”
