“Don’t fucking finish that sentence!”
Blair jumps, and I whirl to find Santi standing in the doorway. His face is red and his eyes are bright with fury. He reaches up to grab the doorframe and he leans forward, glaring at me.
“You’re such a fucking hypocrite!” he bellows.
His words carry, echoing all around us in the relatively empty closet.
“Santi,” I start, worried when a vein begins to bulge his forehead. “Relax. Blair and I were just talking.”
With a snarl, he lets go of the doorframe and storms toward me. “Talking? Sounds like you were coercing her into a situation that would inevitably lead to her death.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re being dramatic. That’s not?—”
“You were going to send Blair out into the world without anyone there to look after her! What the hell is wrong with you?” he interrupts, loudly. “Youout of any of us have no right to talk about bringing danger to Gnarly Pines.”
I tense at the accusation. “That’s different and you know it! I have a purpose?—”
“You have a self-imposed punishment that you rebranded into a ‘purpose’ but it’s really just a guilt-driven, ass-backwards way of trying to fix something that’s unfixable!” Santi roars. He sucks in a deep breath in an attempt to calm down but his voice still trembles when he adds, “Youthink isolation is the only way to protect yourself. And maybe keeping people at an arm’s length away and refusing to leave Gnarly Pines unless it’s to murder pedophiles is working for you. But that’s a decision you made. That woman right there—” he points to Blair behind me. “—wantsto live life to its fullest. Stop forcing your decision on her then saying it’s for the best. It’s only the bestfor youbecause then she’s out of the picture. You’re such a selfish asshole!”
“Um… guys?” Blair starts but she’s ignored as I take a step toward him.
“I’m the asshole?” I bite out through gritted teeth. “Why? Because I’m trying to look out for you? Blair’s problems are becoming ours! She’s going to draw trouble and attention to us and then what? You won’t be able to play your games with cops and hitmen around, Santi! I’m doing this for you!”
He doesn’t get it. Santi is so wrapped up in his pretty new friend that he doesn’t see the danger she presents. Thishasto be done. If he would just let me help Blair out of here, things can go back to how they were.
Santi’s bitter laughter makes my skin crawl. When he’s done, his upper lip pulls up into a sneer and he asks, “Forme? Where was this energy when Ledger broughtyouhere? Why didn’t you just scamper off into the woods when you posed a similar danger to all of us? A danger youstillpresent?”
My hands fist at my side as I start to tremble with rage. “Ledger brought me here. I was doing fine on my own!”
“Fine? If by fine you mean starving to death and bleeding out, then yeah, I guess you were doingfine.” Santi rolls his eyes. “Let’s get real, Rhett. You’re a fugitive on the loose and you’ve been banking on lying low at Gnarly Pines for the rest of the thing you call a ‘life’. But when Blair shows up, practically presenting the same threat you do to the rest of us, you want us to send her away? Only one person on the run can live here? Shit, Rhett, come on down off your high horse, will you?”
There's a small gasp before Blair asks, “You’re a fugitive? Really?”
“I’msitting on a high horse?” I ask him, ignoring her to glare at Santi. “You run around here with no regard to anyone else’s boundaries, forcing yourself on others until they finally give in to your pestering. I’m just a realist, Santi. One of us has to be.”
“I see the world far better than you do!” Santi objects.
“You’re shortsighted and a hazard to your own health!” I counter, so furious that I can’t stop now. “You’re so desperate to be loved that you’ve latched onto this woman who’sobviouslya walking bomb, only because she’s given you a crumb of attention. Any minute her world will explode and you know what? You don’t care if you go up in flames with her. Why? Because at least you’ll be withsomeoneall the way until the end. It’s honestly sad and it makes me sick how pathetic you are.”
Santi’s rage slips and I can see that I’ve struck a nerve. I regret what I’ve said instantly. The pain in his eyes flashes before he snuffs it out. His shaky inhale makes my heart shudder.
Before I can backtrack, he speaks. “You know what? If my fatal flaw is wanting to find love, thensue me. At least I don’t keep making the same mistakes,” he says, his voice so cold it’s unnerving. “I’m not continuously putting myself, and my needs first. Your sister wanted you to stay that night, and yet you left because you were tooselfishto think of anyone but yourself. You take enough from me to remember that you’re alive, but keep me far enough away thatyoudon’t have to feel anything else if you don’t want to. Now you’re pushing Blair out of here becauseyoudon’t want to get caught up in someone else’s mess even though it looks a lot likeyours. Being selfish is your thing, Rhett. That’s why it comes up time and time again.”
My spine stiffens and the guilt I’d just felt is nearly wiped clean off the board. I open my mouth to reply but Santi cocks his head, his expression going stoney, and fires off one last shot.
“Do you think,” he drawls, his voice low and words icy. “That Abby would look up to her big brother if she saw you now? Because I don’t. I bet you’d be her worst nightmare. A cold-hearted, selfish, asshole who kills because it gives him a reason to live. Sounds like a monster a child would be scared of to me. What doyouthink?”
I recoil, stumbling several steps backward. His accusation hits like a real bullet wound. I feel it right in the middle of my chest. The blood drains from my face and I grunt as the pain nearly takes me to my knees.
Howdarehe bring up my sister in this. How fucking dare him… Yet, the anger fizzles out as his words truly sink in deep. Is Santi right? Would Abby even recognize me if she walked into this room? Or would she take one look at me and see a stranger? Shame douses the rest of my anger, leaving me feeling cold and shaky.
Santi and I stare at one another, both breathing hard as if we’d run a marathon rather than endured a verbal sparring.
Movement in my peripheral vision causes me to flinch. I turn to find Blair walking by. She stops to glance between the two of us.
“I know it probably doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’s clear you two love each other,” Blair sighs before giving us a sad smile. “You wouldn’t feel this passionately if you didn’t. Don’t let this tear you apart, okay?”
With that, Blair keeps walking until she’s out of the room and out of sight.
