Fueled with determination and hope, I start to clean up the mess I’ve made.
Chapter 17
Blair
Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
The word is stuck on repeat in my head as I shove furniture and forgotten, half-empty cardboard boxes of junk around the room that will soon be a nurse’s station. Ledger broached the idea this morning over breakfast. He looked me right in the eye and asked if I’d be the on-site nurse for Gnarly Pines.
It was as if he hadn’t witnessed me grinding against his friend last night.
I’m not upset that he caught us—in fact, it was hot seeing him standing there with his own erection straining against the front of his jeans. There was a hint of that hunger he’d talked about in his eyes. If I’d been with some random guy I’d met on the street, I would’ve pushed the moment further. Watching Ledger hold on to his control had been exhilarating. I wanted to push, and push until he finally snapped. Maybe then I’d get what I always dreamt about.
But Wesisn’ta random person.
Wes is a haven I didn’t know existed. He has this innate ability to sense what someone needs without having to ask. It’s a superpower that I didn’t know I would admire so much. As someone who’s used to doing things on her own, submitting to a competent man is as wonderful as the orgasm that had rushed through my body. I ate Wes’s affection up—gobbled it down like a starving woman.
I don’t want to use him to taunt Ledger. What I want is more of last night.
But is it wise to pursue something with Wes when I still yearn for Ledger?
“It makes you a needy bitch,” I mutter under my breath.
This is probably what a dog in heat feels like. Needy, selfish, and horny as hell. Honestly, I blame the environment. Who wouldn’t be panting and fantasizing about the guys around here? I’m surrounded by hot, sweaty men who smell of freshly chopped wood and wear tight white shirts under plaid flannel jackets.
It’s not just Wes and Ledger I’m feeling things for.
Every night Rhett and Santi cut wood for the firepit or for the woodburning stove that keeps the cabin warm. Then, after an hour of wood chopping, Santi has the nerve to look at me while he glistens with sweat andsmile.
My panties practically disintegrate every time this happens.
I’m going through alotof panties.
Santi’s smile is more dangerous than the gun I keep holstered on my hip or the axe he wields.
Ok, maybe it’s not just his sexy, dimpled smile that has me swooning around Santi. I’ve never been able to be myself around anyone. No one has ever knownBlair, only CeCe. But that’s changed. Santi embraces the fact that I have rough edges and god does that feelgoodto be liked for who I am.
Maybe I’m broken in some way. The attraction between the men I’m sharing a cabin with has to be a byproduct of feeling helpless when it comes to my situation. My dad’s in the wind, running from trouble that’s no doubt on his heels, and the life I worked so hard to build has gone down the drain all in the blink of an eye. My hormones must’ve decided that lusting after men is easier than dwelling in despair.
Honestly, thank god for Rhett. He may be hot as hell with that bad boy look he’s sporting, but his attitude is so repulsive that he might as well have eighteen eyes growing out of his face. Whenever he opens his mouth, he manages to douse any type of desire I’m feeling.
“Yeah,thank godfor Rhett,” I grumble sarcastically under my breath. “My constant pain in the ass.”
I say that, but his reminder that I’m dangerous to everyone here still rings in my ears. Every time I think about it, fear grips my heart. He’s not wrong to be wary of my presence. I could get everyone here killed.
“You’re going to screw all of this up,” I warn myself as I shove my shoulder into the side of the shelving unit.
The scream of the metal against the cement floor as the shelving unit moves is worse than nails on a chalkboard. I grit my teeth and grimace, continuing to push despite the sound, determined to get this out of the way.
“Hey! Oh, wait. Here, let me help you with that.”
I jump at the sound of Santi’s voice as he appears beside me.
I don’t get a chance to decline his offer before he walks to the other side and pulls. With a sigh, I push and together we get the shelving against the wall. I sag against the piece of furniture and sigh loudly in relief.
“Thanks,” I tell him.
“Yeah, no problem,” he replies as he wipes his hands on his pants to get the dust off them. “You know you could’ve just askedfor help from one of the guys out there.” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the door, indicating the guys mulling around in Building D. “They all probably would’ve jumped at the chance to help you move some of this stuff. Or you could’ve just waited for the rest of us to get off work and we would’ve come to help.”
