But because all the blood is rushing straight down to my dick, leaving me lightheaded and I’m afraid I’m going to pass out halfway up these fucking stairs.
I give myself a moment to compose myself, just long enough so that when I do move, my legs won’t buckle beneath me. Each step up is purposefully planted, quiet, and light. The same goes as I make my way down the hallway to Blair’s room.
Part of me wonders if I’m going to be a fucking pervert, maybe I should commit to it with my whole chest. It’s not like I’ll be able to keep my desires hidden for long. I’m good at hiding feelings and emotions but when it comes to Blair? Things aren’t as simple. She’s a hurricane of fantasies all rolled into one being, and being around her, I’m bound to get swept up in them.
But Ihaveto be good. Once she cools down and realizes that the decision Anchor and I made for her was for the best, everything else will come next. The falling in love with Gnarly Pines, the attachments she’ll make with Wesley, Rhett, and Santiago, the purpose she’ll find here… All of that will come next. I’m sure of it.
ThenI can defile her soul and make it mine.
No, wait, Ican’tdo that. That’s just one of the many fantasies I’m going to have to try hard not to entertain.
But if Icouldindulge in it, things would be fucking perfect. My corruption of her soul would be so thorough and vile that not even the Devil will be interested in taking her away from me. I’m practically grinning as I picture the moment when Blair would have to accept what’s meant to be.
To be fair, this fantasy is Blair’s fault. If she hadn’t kissed me, I wouldn’t know this type of obsession. But she did and I’ve become someone I don’t recognize; doing things I never would’ve dreamed of doing before, all because she’s damned me.
She should be grateful that I made a vow to Wesley not to touch herandthat I have the desire to be a good man around her—despite how filthy my thoughts are when they come to her.
Outside of her room, I hesitate.
If Anchor ever found out how badly I coveted his daughter, there would undoubtedly be a bullet in my head. That would be thekindestending he could give me. If he saw me now, grabbing for the doorknob, opening the door, and slipping quietly into his daughter’s room? I’ve seen him dive into someone’s chest cavity and yank rib bones out of his victims while they still lived.
Even that might be too kind of an ending for me.
The possible consequences don’t stop me, though.
Blair doesn’t stir as the door clicks shut behind me. Typically, she’s a light sleeper—making this decision of mine riskier than normal. But hidden in the pills I’d given Blair earlier, the ones she no doubt believed were vitamins, was a sleeping pill.
I told myself, as I put it in with the other pills, that knocking her out was for safety reasons. She would be pissed enough to slip out after I revealed her father wasn’t here and I couldn’t allow that.
I cling to that reasoning now even as I silently walk over to the small chair in the corner of the room and lower myself onto the worn cushion.
My cock is wrapped up by my fist in seven seconds flat—I’m harder than ever.
Just as I begin to stroke myself, Blair twists on the bed. Her lower half stays put but her torso twists so that she’s on her back, giving me a view of thoseperfectfucking tits. I choke on a groan at the sight of them. God how I wish I could slide my dick between those beautiful full breasts. Then as I fucked them, I’d make sure to cover them with my come, branding Blair as mine.
But no, I have to be good. I can’t do that. Iwon’tdo that.
I allow my gaze to drift over the rest of my godchild as I stroke myself.
Blair looks so good. Better than ever, really. Blair’s arms and legs are deliciously toned. Her waist is lean and her stomach, while soft, clearly hides abs just beneath the surface. Her hair is pulled up into a bun, still damp from her shower, giving me a full line of sight to her face.
Blair’s here, and she’s mine to look after now.
Excitement shoots up like fireworks inside of me at the possessive claim.
With a grunt, I lean back in my seat and pump my hand down my hard shaft faster. Using the precum that beads at the tip, the motion is smooth and easy. My eyes remained pinned tomyBlair as my orgasm swiftly approaches. The simmering of pleasure begins in my veins and shoots down between my legs. The breath I take remains captured in my lungs as I welcome the build up. The memory of her full lips pressing up against mine surges forward. They’d been so soft. The hesitancy and awkwardness of the moment only heightened the purity of the kiss. Blair was so clearly inexperienced that, looking back, it was endearing.
I want to ask if I was her first kiss. It felt like it. Since then, I’ve wondered if I could be another one of her other firsts. Of course, I’m no fool. At twenty-eight I’m sure she’s lost her virginity, given a few blow jobs, and maybe even a handjob. But has anyone taken that beautiful ass? Has any one of her partners made her cum over and over? Or have they left her wanting?
Blair’s mouth pops open as she takes a deep breath.
At the sight of those full, pretty, parted lips, another horrible idea blinks into existence. Tonight could be one of many firsts. I slow the pace of my fist that grips my cock as I stand, needing to prolong my release for a few more moments. Slowly, quietly, I round the bed to where Blair is sleeping soundly.
My teeth clench as my balls tense and begin to rise—my orgasm only a few strokes away. I step up until my knees hit the mattress and I pause to stand beside Blair’s face.
I promised Wes I wouldn’t touch her.
And I won’t.
