I expect it to be dark and empty when I round the side of the house.
It’s dark, but it’s not empty.
I stop, surprised to see Blair perched on the railing, staring out into the sprawling woods around the property. Her legs dangle over the edge of the railing, her feet kicking absentmindedly. Moonlight trickles through the few clouds in the sky and a beam of it lands on her. It gives her skin an ethereal glow. With a little light, I can see that her brows are gently furrowed, the corners of her mouth turned downward. Whatever she’s thinking, it’s not pleasant.
It hits me that I’ve found what I need.
All the panic and uncertainty rioting in my head doesn’t vanish, but it quiets down becoming more manageable. My heart still slams against my ribs but not in fear this time. My soul hums with contentment. Resolve straightens my spine and an invisible rope tugs me toward the person who has given me purpose.
The worst is unraveling inside, but out here in the open with Blair, peace reigns supreme.
“Baby girl,” I greet as I approach.
Blair doesn’t seem startled to see me but as I draw near, she attempts to tuck away the pensive expression she’d been wearing.
“Don’t do that,” I tell her at once as I come to stand behind her.
Carefully, she twists around so that she’s facing me. Tilting her head to the side with a quizzical brow, she studies me curiously.
“Do what?”
I reach up and cup her face with my hands.
“Hide what you’re feeling from me.”
Holding her like this steadies me but it’s staring into her beautiful, large, brown eyes that puts everything into perspective. My soul has hungered for purpose and I’ve found it, with Blair. Whatever needs to happen to keep her safe, I’ll do it.
The mask Blair’s tried to put in place cracks. Her bottom lip wobbles and her eyes water. Alarmed, I start to ask what’s wrong but I’m cut off as Blair throws her arms around my neck and buries her face in my chest. My hands leave her face so that I can wrap my arms around her waist.
Holding her tight against me, I plead quietly, "Blair, talk to me. What’s going on?"
"I-I'm sorry, just give me a second," she says, her words muffled against my chest. A small sob slips past her lips. The sound tears at my heart. After a second she adds, "I can't stop them but if you can just hold me a second..."
"Stop what? Your tears?" I frown. "Baby girl, if you need to cry,cry."
Blair shakes her head, but says nothing as her body trembles and she cries against me. Fuck, I would do anything in the world right now to help her. I’m at a loss of how to do that though. What has brought this fierce woman to tears?
After a second, Blair composes herself and pulls away. I don’t let her get far, holding her tight. She looks up at me and I stare down at her.
“Sorry about that,” she whispers with a little sniffle.
"Don’t apologize. Emotions are an important part of the human experience," I point out carefully. "If we don't acknowledge them, they can get the better of us. It’s better to express them then hold them back."
Blair sniffles again. Even with a runny nose, red eyes, and swollen lips she's beautiful. The way she searches my face looking for reassurance makes my heart flutter. Acting on impulse, I lean forward and kiss the tip of her nose. I'm gifted with a small smile in return.
"I know you're right. It's just... I've grown up being told otherwise. It's been easy staying detached but since I've been here, that's not been the case. It's overwhelming feeling so much,for so many people," Blair admits, her voice small. I can still see her hesitation as she watches my face for any sign I’m appalled by her vulnerability. "Last night was hard, Wes. I think you would've done better handling Rhett."
"Is this what the tears are about?" I ask her, frowning.
She nods. "Between dealing with that, Santi’s panic when he found us, and then with Ledger coming in and tagging me like I'm cattle with a tracker this afternoon—which pissed me off royally by the way—I feel like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and I'm just not used to this.”
It takes everything in my power not to freeze.
Ledger put atrackerin Blair? What in the unholy fuck is that about? Briefly I wonder if I can convince Blair to let me dig it out of her. I’m guessing it wouldn’t be hard. But Ledger would find out.
Andthatcould set off a whole domino effect. One I’m not prepared to handle just yet.
“I’ll talk to Ledger about the tracker,” I tell her, once I’ve managed to overcome my shock. I swallow down the guilt in my chest. This is partially my fault. I haven’t been able to rein him back at all and now Blair’s autonomy is in jeopardy.
