His lip lifted as if he were going to say something, only for his teeth to snap shut with a shattering clank. He stormed out of the den without a word or putting the boulder in place.
My heart dropped as he once again walked away from me. As weird as it had been, I’d let myself believe, no matter how briefly, he would stay. Rejection was a burning sting that throbbed in my chest.
How could I have been so stupid?
I let a monster get close, of course he bit me.
The marks he’d left on my thigh were a permanent reminder that I was a stray who could only hope for moments of comfort. That the promise of forever was a lie.
It made my mouth taste like vinegar.
The longer I stared at his initials, the more disgusted I became. People thought they could just leave marks on me and never pay the price for it.
I crawled over to my bag when my legs failed and pulled a spare knife out of the side pocket. It opened with a loud snick.
The blade hovered over the mark as I hesitated.Don’t do it,my mind whispered reasonably.
Why not?
I dug the knife into the possessive symbol that promised something he would never deliver on.
Every slice hurt.
But not the way I expected. It hurt deep in my chest, like I was betraying something essential to me. The only betrayal was that claim being etched into my skin in the first place.
The instinct made tears trek down my face and my hands shake, but I fought the urge to toss the knife away from me toothand nail. If anyone was going to mark my mistakes into my skin, it would be me.
Hopefully, it would serve as a reminder of what happened when I let people get close to me.
The bright red blood against my pale skin was stark even in the dim lighting.
By the time I tossed the knife away, the mark didn’t have his initials anymore. Instead, it was a bunch of random cuts that didn’t mean a single fucking thing.
Except that you are self-destructive,I thought bitterly to myself.
A roar echoed in my mind, as if he actually gave a fuck. Maybe he did. He wanted to imprint his presence on my memory, but didn’t intend to stay present.
Another reminder to haunt me.
A glimmer of regret simmered inside me, but I wasn’t sure who that emotion belonged to. Maybe both of us.
Now that the deed was done, I let the sobs wreck through me. Salty tears dripped into the gnarly wound, agitating the throbbing nerves.
Same as all the raw and open wounds inside me.
Why didn’t anyone ever love me? Was I so hard to give a fuck about?
I flopped into the pelts, all the strength I had left seeped out of me. Even now, the pelts were safe and secure.
Why was I even asking those questions? They’d never given me any answers. All it did was breed more disappointment.
Warmth rolled over me like a comforting embrace, taking the edge off the pain. A sense that even when the world was crumbling around me, there was something that was mine.
My fingers dug into the pelt, desperately needing that understanding to seep into my bones.
That if my branches were hacked away, my roots would help me regrow into something stronger. A place that would heal me with all the essential nutrients a heart needed.
A home.
