My cheeks warmed as I realized exactly how intimate this was. I didn’t think I’d ever willingly let someone close enough to feedme. Discomfort finally won some emotional ground, and I found the ability to twitch my finger.
His now free hand touched my fingers with curious touches. As if he’d never touched a woman without the filter of violence on it. One finger wrapped over mine, partially holding my hand.
His eyes stayed locked on our hands, with a soft vulnerability I didn’t recognize, and his purrs grew deeper again. I didn’t even think he realized it.
I wasn’t sure what compelled me, but I adjusted our fingers so that they were intertwined.
Why does she have to beso perfect?A wistful edge colored his thoughts and made my heart speed up.Why can’t I just hate her?
He didn’t mean that. He was lulled by this strange instinct the same as I was. The thought made the urge to run hit me again. I couldn’t let myself think this was real.
Stay. His thought pleaded, and his purr did that thing again where all the will was sucked out of me. A string of loneliness he didn’t vocalize, even in his mind, weaved into me.
He didn’t even have a word for it.
But I recognized it painfully easy, I’d experienced it my entire life. Even in a room full of people.
Maybe we understood each other more than we thought.
We were simply too bullheaded and scared to admit it.
Okay.
Chapter 20:
Hisclawscaressedmyskin with gentleness that was startling. The rough skin was a sharp contrast to the careful touches. Mixed emotions tangled inside me, until they blended together in a web of anger, hurt, and desire.
I froze, unsure of which emotions were mine and which one should win. One claw traced under my eyes.
The knowledge that they were just like Levicy’s and yet so different. Fiery instead of a chill that he never managed to shake out of his bones. Even after all this time.
“Can you feel me the same way I feel you?” I asked.
“You hide behind a calm mask, but fear and resentment consume you.”
I swallowed heavily at his assessment, knowing it was accurate.
His webbed claws slid under my shirt with slow simple movements, like he was memorizing me. Like if he let me go, I’d run away and leave him alone again.
His wandering hands let me pretend that he’d care when I did. That he accepted and loved me in a way I’d never experienced.
But he doesn’t love you,the rational part of me whispered so softly I almost didn’t hear it.
That was fine. This moment could be enough.
It was more than anyone had given me before.
He pulled me further into his lap with a guttural groan, as if he sensed the shift inside my heart. His nose buried into my throat, and I could swear I tasted myself on my tongue. It reminded me of how beautiful he thought I was, despite how much he hated me. My face warmed at the reverence wafting off him.
I was more prepared for his growling and snarling than softness. It disarmed me more than I cared to admit.
His desire shot down to my core, making me throb with need, too.
“I’ve been wanting to fuck you senseless in this nest.” His deep voice dropped an octave, making the sound roughly caress down my spine and dragging my dream from last night into sharp focus. My nipples hardened as goosebumps rolled over me. “It’s been haunting me mercilessly.”
His hands went up, taking my shirt with him to graze my breasts. A snarl left him, and his fingers tightened on my skin, no doubt leaving the ghost of bruises behind. But I loved the way the pleasure hurt.
He was more familiar that way.
