It doesn’t help that Rathyn doesn’t let me sleep easily. He refuses to leave me alone.
He prods my mind, speaking to me through that bond we share. He whispers things to me in his language, a lullaby of sorts, a sad song. I hate it and am comforted by it at the same time. I have no idea what he’s saying, but it feels meaningful.
Still, I can’t let myself be vulnerable again.
I ache too damn much. I can’t give myself over to him again. Not until he tells me how he truly feels. If he feels anything for me at all.
“I’m not working at the hotdog stand. I’ll find something else when Rathyn and I end our agreement.”
“And when will that be?”
I pick at the croissant he handed me and sigh. “No idea.” I have a feeling that if it keeps on this path, he’s going to get bored with me sooner rather than later.
Zane says nothing about that either. He must know how upset I am because usually he’s full of opinions when it comes to the Vyastil and their need for human cum.
“Hear anything from Q?” he asks instead.
My eyebrows rise when I hear him call a Vyastil that. “Did you just give a Vyastil a nickname?”
He flushes and glances away. “Whatever, shut up. I can’t pronounce his full name.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re such an asshole. It’s an easy name.”
He shrugs and sips at his latte, staring at me intently, his brows up as if to say, “Well?”
“No, I haven’t heard from him. I don’t think he’s back yet.”
He swirls his cup around, gaze fixed on the foam, before looking back at me. “You think he’s not back because he’s in trouble for trying to help?”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Zane was worried. But I do know better. It’s been a while since I proved to him that giving the Vyastil what they need isn’t such a big deal, but his opinions on the matter haven’t shifted.
Bowing my head, I let out a sigh. “I don’t know, but I’d feel like shit if he did. I want to believe he won’t, but it would be just my fucking luck that I’d ruin his life, too. God, I should just stay the fuck away from the Vyastil. I do more harm than good.”
“Yeah, probably,” he murmurs and then looks up at me in a slight panic. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He probably didn’t, but the words sting anyway. Maybe I really am that useless. Maybe my aunt and uncle were on to something when they tried to lock me away.
I lick my lips and shrug. “Whatever. It is what it is, and I can’t change it. I just need something to focus on.”
“Well, I don’t want you sulking here all day while I’m at work.”
I scoff. “I’m not sulking all day. I’m going to go to the gym to work out.”
He smirks. “Good and then what?”
“Dunno,” I say
He lets out a heavy sigh. “I don’t mean this in a cruel way, but I don’t want to find you here when I get done. You need to start living again, and rotting in your old room isn’t helping.”
I want to tell him that I was living happily with Rathyn until all my hopes and dreams were dashed when he told me I was nothing more than a human cum tool. But I don’t say that.
He gives me another look full of pity, which I hate. “I’m heading out, but text me if you need me, okay?”
There’s a subtext in his tone that says,don’t text me, but I wasn’t going to anyway. He’s not exactly the right person for me to turn to with a broken heart when it comes to the Vyastil.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him. “Or maybe tonight.”
He lifts a brow. “You’re going to stay?”
