The words are spoken with such certainty that they almost sound like one of his old promises, the ones I used to sink into like warmth after cold.
Except now I know what it is to be warmed by a lie, and a terrible thought forms in my mind before I can stop it. “And I suppose you’re proposing to fix that, bymagnanimouslyoffering to consummate our—”
“No,” he snaps, cutting me off. “I know you have every right to hate and despise me, but understand this: I wouldneveruse this against you. Not now. Not ever.”
My heart squeezes in my chest at the conviction in his words.
“We can remain married in name only. I will still protect you. But more importantly, as Queen of the Dark Elves, you will have an army behind you. I will shield you from the bargain. But I will not press you into my bed to secure your protection.”
He meets my gaze evenly. “Even if you want an annulment, you still have my vow that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I will go to war with the Goblin kingdom if I must.”
For a moment, all I can do is look at him as my heart shatters all over again at the unbearable truth. He is kind and honorable. He’s the man I love… but I don’t know if I can forgive him.
I draw in a shaking breath. I just want to go home. I want to return to my father’s castle and try to pretend my life hasn’t been completely upended.
My family.Ice fills my veins as I recall that day in the throne room—my father’s ultimatum.
“Did my father and brother know who you were?” I ask, praying that I’m wrong.
My heart sinks as he gives me a pitying look. He closes his eyes briefly before answering. “Yes.”
That one word breaks something open inside me, and I can hardly breathe through the pain.
My father knew. My brother knew. Everyone knew but me.
Devastation fills me as I choke back a sob.
My father. The man who kissed my brow when I was small, who told me stories when storms frightened me… who said he only wanted me safe.
My brother. The one who walked with me through the grief of losing our mother, who laughed with me and became my confidante… He stood beside our father and watched me be handed over.
“They knew,” I whisper, more to myself than to him as the awful truth settles deep in my bones. “Of course they did.”
I thought the pain of Auren’s lie was the worst of it, but I was wrong.Thisis worse. Every person I loved most in this world has lied to me.
I swipe tears from my face with shaking fingers, furious with myself for crying in front of him.
He starts to reach for me but stops when I jerk back. And it hurts even more because some traitorous, miserable part of me still wants him to come close, and I hate myself for it.
I can hardly bear to look at him and see the love that still burns in his eyes. Because that is the cruelest wound of all… because even now, with my heart split open and bleeding, I still love him.
It makes me feel weak, and foolish, and lost. Swallowing hard, I turn away from him.
Silence settles between us before he finally says, “We must leave for the mountain in the morning. If the Goblin King tries to come for you, you’ll be safer there.” He pauses. “Will you come with me?”
I close my eyes, struggling to hold back more tears as I consider my answer.
Where would I go?Back to my father, who bartered me with lies? To my brother, who let it happen? To the Goblin King, who would claim me as a debt for his bargain?
Bitterness fills me. When I open my eyes again, I look at Auren and say the only truth I have left. “Where else would I go?” The words come out hollow. “Everyone I trusted has already betrayed me.”
He jerks back as though physically struck.
Good. I want it to hurt him.I want him to carry even a fraction of what is tearing through me now.And yet the moment I see it, I feel even worse, because deep down I don’t truly want to cause him pain.I only wantthisnot to hurt so much.
His luminous blue eyes meet mine, so full of despair and love that I have to look away before it undoes me completely. I don’t want to break in front of him. “I want to be alone.”
He swallows hard. “As you wish,” he says, rising from the edge of the mattress.
