His brow furrows deeply as he waits patiently for me to continue.
“The worst part,” I whisper, admitting the truth that my heart cannot deny, “is that I love him still. And I know he wants to protect me, but I won’t let him sacrifice himself for me nor draw your people into a war just to keep me from the Goblin King.”
As Tarin’s gaze holds mine, I understand the path I must take. I will go to the Goblin King as he demands. Perhaps he can be reasoned with. If not, then at least I’ll know I’ve spared Auren and his people from fighting a war on my behalf.
I’ll have to find a way to do this without Auren knowing, however. Because if he discovered my intent, he’d surely try tostop me. I’ll send a raven discreetly to the Goblin King in the morning.
Something shifts in Tarin’s expression. He opens his mouth to speak, but Auren walks in, interrupting.
He looks at his brother. “If you’ll please excuse us. I would like to speak with Vivienne alone.”
Tarin dips his chin. When he turns back to me, I notice his gaze is no longer full of disapproval. “I will see you both in the morning. Goodnight.”
CHAPTER 45
VIVIENNE
Auren’s gaze holds mine as I rise from the sofa. For a moment, neither of us moves as I stand before him with my heart still bruised in my chest, trying to understand how the man I love can be the same man who broke my trust.
I walk toward the balcony, because I need somewhere to look besides at him. I wrap my arms around myself as I stop near the edge, staring out over the glowing city as a maelstrom of emotions swirls deep within.
Behind me, I hear the faint sound of his footsteps as he moves to my side.
A lump forms in my throat as I recall our journey from my father’s kingdom, full of campfires and tea, and his cloak around my shoulders. I think of the warmth of his body behind mine on Vaelen’s back, and the love that grew between us before I knew the truth.
I turn back to face him, and stare deep into his eyes, remembering they belong to the man I love… wondering if he is still there inside the king who stands before me now. “I trustedyou,” the words come out quieter than I intend as I blink back tears. “Why didn’t you tell me who you were from the start?”
“When I came to your father’s kingdom, I wasn’t there for your hand. I had come to sign a new trade agreement,” he explains. “I just happened to arrive the first night of the ball. And when I saw you, I was completely and utterly captivated.”
His gaze travels over my face like a gentle caress. “Not just by your beauty, but your intelligence, your boldness… your wit.” A faint smile ghosts his lips. “You were everything I never knew I wanted… needed.”
He runs a hand roughly through his hair. “I watched you eviscerate each man before you, including myself. I worried that if I told you I was king, you would see only the crown, that you’d dismiss me like you did all the others… before you ever saw anything in me worth knowing. And I couldn’t risk that… not with the Goblin King waiting to claim you.”
An uncomfortable truth settles deep in my chest. He’s right. I probably would have rejected him. Just as I did all the suitors who came for my hand. I thought them all pompous and arrogant nobility, who were only there to win me as if I were some sort of prize.
“Even with the threat of the bargain coming due, you refused every offer before you.” He clenches his jaw. “I told myself I was protecting you from the Goblin King, but the truth is that it was more than that.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you belonging to someone who might try to crush the fiery spirit that burns so brightly inside you.”
Firelight catches in his black hair and along the hard line of his jaw. His glowing blue eyes are fixed on me, something vulnerable reflected in their depths.
In this moment, he isn’t a king. He’s a man standing before the woman he loves, knowing he wounded her, and willing to let her see exactly how much that truth has cost him.
His jaw tightens. “I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t want you to say yes to a crown. I wanted you to chooseme. Freely. And if you had refused me after the thirty days, I would still have found a way to keep you from the Goblin King. Even if it meant you never chose to be mine at all.”
My heart aches as I study him. “Perhaps you’re right about how it all started,” I admit. “Maybe I would have rejected you outright as I did the others. But you let the lie go on for so long, Auren. You should have trusted me with the truth.”
Even as the words leave my mouth, I think of the raven I had planned to send to the Goblin King in secret, without telling him, to spare Auren from risking a war on my behalf, and the hypocrisy of my anger lands with uncomfortable clarity.
“I know,” he says, regret marring his handsome features.
“No. I don’t think you do.” The words come sharper now, pulled from someplace raw. “I trustedyou. Andthatis the wound.”
He flinches as if struck.
“When I slept beside you in the woods, when you cared for me, and held me… I trusted what was growing between us.” A tear slips down my cheek. “But I was building a future around a lie.”
His hands flex at his sides as if fighting the urge to reach for me as I continue. “I hated that my father and brother betrayed me. But you—” my voice breaks. “Youwere the one that mattered… the one I gave my heart to.”
He looks down at his hands. “There is something else I must tell you.”
