“Will he influence my emotions?” Lilith asked.
More than once Eamon had explained to me the temporary bond that would be forged by drinking an immortal’sblood. The desperate way he’d begged me rushed over my skin like a tide. In those moments I could have almost believed the mating bond he spoke of was forever, that he truly burned for me, that he wantedme…
Not just what I could give him.
So I hitched a small smile on my face for Lilith. “Not your emotions, no.”
“But other things?”
I would play your body like an instrument, little bird,Eamon had said once,and you would finally feel the need I have for you day and night—the need to fill your cunt so full of my seed no one would wonder who you belonged to.
“Yes, I believe so,” I answered, grabbing one of my traveling corsets and a day dress he’d bought for me.
Lilith was quiet as I dressed and I tried not to let my mind wander to what I would find tomorrow morning at my family’s home. I’d been careful not to pack anything too expensive, but even the simple dresses Eamon had purchased for me would be finer than was safe. But Lilith and Noah had forced me to throw away the tattered gowns and I hadn’t been able to stomach telling them why I’d held onto them so tight.
Once I dressed, I padded back to Lilith and presented my back to her so she could do up my laces.
“If Eamon asked to change you, would you let him?”
My hands flexed against my bodice, sweat dewing across my palms. The answer screamed inside my mind again and again:yes, yes, yes.But how horrifying would it be to be damned to an eternal life and forced to live it alone? “I do not think so.”
“Why? If you would drink his blood if he offered it again, does that not mean you are open to the idea?”
I huffed a laugh and dipped my chin. “Immortality seems like a monstrous prospect. Eamon is a rarity amongst his peers.”
My skin was too sizes too small. The air in the room thinned. Sometimes I wondered if there was not an easier option after all. If perhaps everything would be simpler if I ran to Keryes with open arms.
“What would you do, if you were me?” Lilith asked in such a small voice a haze settled over my eyes.
I turned, stroking the back of her head, wishing Jules was here. “I do not know, because I cannot imagine what it would be like not to know the immortal offering me such a bond. I can only tell you that if Eamon was to ask again…I believe I would drink.” With a sigh I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’m out to run some errands before I leave for All Souls. I’ll meet you at the shop?”
Another moment longer and I would start to scream. I grabbed up my letter from the bed and the pouch ofoyistaI kept beneath my mattress before heading to the door.
“Love you,” I murmured, though I wasn’t sure if she heard me from where she sat staring at the phial and box on her lap.
The street was quiet as I made my way out. Noah was on patrol nearby and I wandered for a bit toward the river. He came into view, striding through a narrow alley accompanied by one of his fellow Vyenurs, and passed me.
Before I could call out to Noah, they had already stopped and doubled back to me.
“Everything okay?” Noah asked, nostrils flaring.
I nodded. “Yes, I think so. Lilith’s suitor sent her another letter and a gift. I’ve left to give her some privacy.”
He pursed his lips. “What sort of gift?”
“A phial of his blood.”
Noah and the other Vyenur—I was almost sure his name was Rehal—whistled. “Does she know this male?” Rehal asked.
“She doesn’t,” Noah answered for me.
I shifted my weight uncomfortably. “I do. He’s a good male—I trust that no harm will come to her.”
Noah gaped at me while Rehal nodded.
“First, how dare you not tell me you knew,” Noah started, holding up a finger. “And second?—”
“I really need to get to the market to pick up some tonic for travel before the morning,” I cut across him. “You know how I get with long carriage rides.”
