I wanted to say something to Mateo, to offer him some sort of comfort, but the words didn’t come. Lord Azad guided me through the serpentine streets toward the center of town, brushing his lips across my hair, my temples, my brow. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
My shoulders tightened and I swallowed. “I cannot leave Lilith and Risqeu.”
“I know,” he answered, drawing his cloak around me to stave off the winter chill.
“If…” I took a deep breath, stopping before we reached the market that lined the Rachay River, twisting my fingers together. “If you wish to be my exclusive client, Lord Azad, then I will agree. I will visit you at your home or you can come to the Souzterain and you can feed when you wish, as you originally discussed with Jules.”
His dark brows drew together and he tilted his head to the side. One hand rose to cup my chin, turning my face to him. Goddess, but he was beautiful. The kind of male I’d dreamed of all my life while I sat on the dirt floor of myhome and was told I would one day serve powerful immortals just like my mother. In those dreams I imagined a male like Lord Azad coming to my rescue, plucking me from my imagined tower to ride off into the night.
Safety.
Comfort.
Love.
That was all I had ever wanted. Perhaps now, at least with this arrangement, I would get two out of three for as long as he would allow it.
Lord Azad took a step closer, hand sliding to curl around my throat. His thumb brushed the pulse point behind my ear, citrine eyes dancing back and forth between mine as if he might find some answer there. “I want you to be mine, Adrienne.”
My throat clicked with another dry swallow. “Yes, I will be.”
He shook his head, a lock of dark hair falling across his forehead, and exhaled slowly. A flicker of pain crossed his face, so tangible it echoed in my heart, sending the grief within my bones to aching again. He kissed me, and I wondered why this felt like a goodbye. His next words were so soft, I could not tell exactly what he said, but it sounded a little like:
“I will take whatever you can give me.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
One Year Later
“You did not wish to dance?”
Adrienne sat at the pianoforte, the sapphire gown I’d had made for her spilling over the bench and brushing the floor. She sighed, plucking out a few chords of a piece she’d been working on for the last few weeks. “I missed you.”
Pain sliced through my chest. I crossed the room and slid onto the bench to gather her into my arms. “And I you.”
“I fear for you when you leave,” she mumbled, tracing the brocade of my jacket.
For three nights I’d been with the Lycan packs on the outskirts near the ocean, accompanied by Mateo, visiting those who did not spend most of their time with the inner-city Darcay or Belovuk packs. We provided food, clothing,oyistaif they needed it, and in exchange they offered their reassurance that if the Covenant fell, they would support our cause. I’d returned as soon as the sun set tonight and Adrienne had been waiting for me here, though I’d been ushered off to dress for the guests arriving.
I’d asked her to join me in our rooms but, as always, she’d refused. Adrienne kept to the music room, the library, or theballroom. The times that I visited her in the Souzterain, I stayed as close to dawn as possible, but she refused to join me at the estate for more than a night or two a week. This was her home, yet she did not believe it.
“There is no reason to fear, my heart.” I tipped her chin up to brush my mouth across hers. “And if you must know, I fear for you just as much when we are apart.”
She had been ill while I’d been away. Callum had informed me upon his arrival tonight she’d shown symptoms of the same illness Jules had fallen prey to. I thanked the goddess each night Cora, one of the apothecary owners in the Souzterain, had developed a tonic to cure the illness as long as it was given quickly. There was even more gratitude for Callum, who had provided her the tonic in my absence.
Of course, Adrienne had not told me of her illness for fear I might, as she said often, “overreact.” The way I hadoverreactedwhen one of her gowns had finally fallen to tatters and I’d purchased her a few dresses. Or the way I’doverreactedwhen her hairpin rusted and I’d provided her a replacement. She saw those things as charity and, though I could not often read her thoughts, I knew she kept a running tab to one day repay me.
Once again, I had failed, just as I had with my brother Mael. I’d hoped with time and patience she would understand what she was to me. Yet even now she was drawing away, a small bit of the light in her eyes shuttering closed. I stroked her cheek, breathing in her scent, the only balm that would ease the pulsing open wound in my heart.
“I believe someone is sending Lilith gifts,” she said, changing subject to something other than my affection for her.
With a sigh, I let her go, turning to place my hands on the keys. “Yes, I know. Mateo informed me of Callum’s infatuation.”
A small smile twisted her full lips and her brows raised in surprise. “Callum, truly? Then is that why is here tonight?”
“I believe so. He almost never attends.”
Callum stayed away as much as he could, as the fledgling Mael focused on the most out of all his progeny. He feared that to grow too close to me would be to endanger everything I had worked for to free our people from the Covenant—everything he and his siblings had worked for as well. Mael’s gift was similar to mine, but where I could receive the thoughts of those around me and perhaps dive a bit deeper to what they were willing to show, my brothertook. He sliced through minds and ripped apart consciousness.
