She shuddered, taking two bottles out, and turned in my grasp. “You can’t be doing that.” Her whisky-colored eyes were warm yet firm.
“Are you saying you don’t like me touching you? Or kissing you?”
She handed me the water and went to the living room.
“Oh, come on. I’m trying, My-la.”
“You. There.” She pointed at the end of the sofa and sat at the opposite end. “It’s not about what I like. It never was, Ciro. Don’t pretend like you don’t know it. It’s always been about you and what you didn’t want to give me.”
I exhaled, hating the truth she spoke. “I’ve been miserable without you, Isla. I kept waiting for the feelings I had for you to fade or for another woman to pique my interest.”
“Wow, how nice.” She wrapped her arms around her middle.
“But baby, there’s only one you.” I reached out and touched her arm. “You’re who I need and want.”
“The day will come when you decide to walk.” She shook her head softly. “The novelty of having a child, an heir, will wear off and Pippa will pay the price.”
“I’m not your father,” I said through gritted teeth. He was a selfish piece of shit, a coward who walked out on his family. “I would never abandon you or Pippa.” Not to mention, my family would kill me if I did. And I’d hate myself if I ever hurt her or the baby.
“No, you’re not. But you have your own demons haunting you. You never wanted children or to fall in love because of what happened to your mom and your siblings’ mothers.” She wasn’t wrong. I would never want anything to happen to her or my child. The only thing I could do was protect them from the evils in my world.
“And I’m working on it. I really am, My-la,” I said earnestly, squeezing her arm. “You can trust me.”
“I can’t trust you.” She considered me a long beat. “But I won’t shut you out.”
I scooted toward her. She was afraid, and fear was something I could eliminate when making love to her. Anytime Isla had felt insecure in our relationship, sex was the cure.
“No.” She pressed her hand to my chest, stopping me. “No kissing or anything that requires taking our clothes off.”
“That doesn’t sound fun.” A cocky grin tugged at the corners of my mouth.
“It’s not meant to be fun. It was never about sex or the way I felt about you. I loved you.”
“Loved, as in past tense?” I caressed her arm. “You don’t love me anymore?”
“Don’t mess with my head, Ciro. Intimacy will mess with my heart. I need to keep my emotions out of it.”
“Do you have a timeline? How will I know when I can kiss you?” As much as she frustrated me, I wasn’t about to lay down the law and force her to be with me. If she needed a second to process everything, I could be patient… for a spell anyway.
“No timeline. You’ll know when I kiss you.”
“You realize you’re holding all the cards, right?”
She blushed and held back a smile. “You realize if you’ve really changed, I won’t be able to resist you, right?”
I scooted closer to her, my lips just a hair’s breadth away from hers. I stared deep into her eyes, rubbing my thumb over her arm. “I’ll wait for you. However long it takes. But I promise you, I won’t make it easy for you to resist me.” I kissed her nose softly. “I assumed you meant I couldn’t kiss your lips.”
She trembled on an exhale. “Always bending and twisting the rules.”
“My-la, I’ll do whatever it takes to win you back.”
She put her hand to my cheek, her chest visibly rising and falling, fighting her need for me. “I hope you succeed.”
“I won’t fail this time.” I wrapped my arms around her, putting my face at the curve of her neck. She felt spectacular, warm with tempting curves I wanted to discover, and smelled even better. “I won’t fail you this time.”
“Okay, then. I’ll get you a pillow and blanket.”
“Is that it? You have nothing more to say after I’ve promised to not fail you again?” I asked in a playful tone. “Surely you will require me to write it in blood and have it notarized.”
