I’d hoped sex before the party would get Isla through the night. Sometimes it did and other times it seemed like we were worse off. She should be confident and secure in our relationship, not sick with worry for my safety or that someone would steal me away from her.
How could she not worry, though? I pondered this issue weekly.
My life was dangerous, and by association, she was at risk.
To add insult to injury, I gave all my attention to my guests at these goddamn parties, while Isla hung back as if she wasn’t the most important person in my life. Which was why I’d given her my all just a couple of hours ago in the privacy of my bedroom.
But showing affection and adoration for her in public couldn’t happen. Nobody could ever know she was my weakness, a direct line to my undoing. If it ever got out, we’d all be fucked.
Her gorgeous smile couldn’t mask the anger in her whiskey-colored eyes. My world was too much for her. Always had been. Always would be.
Isla Martin was the only woman I would ever love. I needed her like the air in my lungs and the steady beat of my heart.
I needed herand I wasn’t okay with that.
Though we’d been together longer than I’d been with any woman, I’d kept her at arm’s length, just waiting for the day I’d lose her. It seemed plausible that once I let her fully into my heart, she’d change her mind and walk out of my life.
Or worse, leave this earth at the hands of one of my enemies and cross into another dimension. Somewhere in the clouds to sing with the angels like my mamma, and completely out of my reach for all of eternity.
Like a fool, I ignored the fact that she already owned my heart and soul, and Ireallywasn’t okay with it. I’d already lost two people in my life who were important to me, whom I’d loved dearly.
Julietta’s young, sweet face flashed behind my eyes. Icursed my memories. Hated how I couldn’t forget my first love from high school.
For most of my life, I believed I couldn’t love anyone more than Mamma and Julietta. I’d built walls around my heart to protect myself from feeling the severe pain I’d felt when they died.
But Isla Martin had entered my life when I least expected it and breached the boundaries I’d put in place with ease, grace, and elegance.
“If you don’t do something, you’re going to lose her,” Roman said as he passed me a glass of Prosecco.
“Thanks.” I took the crystal flute and exhaled a labored breath, closing my eyes for a brief second to re-center myself.
My brother and I stared at Isla across from us. The shimmering pool between us was aglow, illuminating her blonde hair and fair skin.
She tilted her head and swept her bangs to the side with her index finger, faking a smile. I knew the move. She only did it when trying to hide her annoyance and frustration.
“I won’t lose her,” I said with absolute certainty, even though I didn’t believe my own words. I couldn’t sound weak in front of my brother.
“You will if you don’t change your ways. When are you going to take your relationship to the next level? She needs assurances. Hell, we all need to know you’re serious about her. Most of all, Padre. He loves Isla.” Roman laughed, putting the glass to his lips.
I grunted, because I knew how much Padre and my sister, Rosa, both loved Isla.
“I’m sure he’s secretly praying you knock her up.” Roman gulped his drink and avoided my narrowed gaze.
Praying for a baby?
My blood turned cold, the air in my lungs evaporating. My brother couldn’t be serious.
Don’t panic. Roman is screwing with you. He’s after a reaction.
Or maybe not.
I leveled my gaze at him, keeping my internal freak-out contained. “If you know something I don’t, you better fill me in.Now.”
Roman was the peacekeeper of the family. Our father relied on him to keep him informed of the goings-on with his children. Unfortunately for Luca and me, that meant Roman also had a big mouth and often ratted us out.
“Padre asked about you and Isla, that’s all.” Roman continued to avoid eye contact, a sure sign there was more he wasn’t telling me.
“Is that all?” I asked through gritted teeth, confident there was more.
