The air in the room grew thicker as my life was about to implode. My throat thickened and I struggled to breathe. A whooshing pulse clouded my head as I stared at my beauty.
“Say something,” she cried. “I hate when I can’t read your mind. When you sit like a stone-cold, Italian statue.”
I almost smiled,almost. She was trying to lighten the mood, but that was foolish of her. If we were ending, it would be the darkest day of my life.
“I love you so much.” She sniffled, wiping her wet eyes. In typical Isla form, she bravely attempted to break the silence because she knew I wouldn’t. “So much. But love isn’t enough when it’s one-sided. I’m sorry if this hurts you, but I need to say everything weighing on my heart before I walk out and never return.”
I shot a hardened glare at her. One-sided? Nothing about us should’ve been a surprise. She knew what to expect going in, so if she couldn’t handle it, leaving was the only thing to do.
“I need more, Ciro. But no matter how much I love you,I’m done.” She slipped out of Roman’s arms and came to me. Cupping my face, she pressed her forehead to mine, stroking the scruff on my jaw.
Up and down.
Up and down.
I relished being caressed by her warm, delicate hands. But at the same time, dread flooded my veins.
“We’re stalled, Ciro. At a crossroad.” She continued her speech. “I pray that you’re hearing me clearly. We’re not moving forward. Every night, you make love to me. Sometimes I stay over, other times you take me home. Then, when I ask about living together, you shut it down quickly with a lame excuse as to why it would be a bad idea. Half the time, I wonder if there’s someone else.”
“No!” I shouted in her face. “You know I would never cheat on you.”
“Do I?” She held my face firmly in her hands. “I don’t have any proof you’ve been unfaithful. Only my active imagination getting the better of me.”
“I’ve never so much as lusted after another woman since we’ve been together.” I shouldn’t have to fucking defend myself to her. Loyalty was the most important character trait to me and she knew it.
How dare she think so little of me just because I’d been with many women before her? Before her! Yes, those same women continued to tempt and pursue me. Theywererelentless. But I had been devoted and faithful to Isla since the day I met her.
“You’re constantly surrounded by gorgeous women who want you. Look at me.” She released my face and stepped back. “There is nothing special about me. I’m average.” She ran her hands over her breasts and body.
“What are you talking about? Average, how?” I asked in an annoyed tone. What was she talking about being nothing special and average? She was the most perfect and exquisite creature on the planet.
“I’m not a triple-D cup.” She pressed her hands against her chest.
“I don’t care about that.” I shook my head, growing more irritated by the second.
“I don’t have legs for miles or long, luxurious hair. So why would I believe I’m enough when you don’t want me in your bed every night?” Her words slapped me in the face. How did I not know she felt this way? “Why would I believe you can’t live without me when you don’t tell me you love me?”
There it was:You don’t tell me you love me.
I sat straighter on the bed sensing she had more to say. “You’re delusional if you believe you aren’t enough for me. Sei perfetta…”
“How can I be perfect, if you’re calling me delusional?” She threw my words back at me. I had to give her credit. Despite her tears and emotions running wild, she wasn’t missing a single word I said.
“I’ve said it hundreds of times, Tesoro. You’re like the air I breathe, pure and all-consuming.”
“Yes, I know.” She paused for a beat. “But what about marriage?”
“I’m not ready for marriage or even living together. Once we take those steps, we can never go back.”
“Why would we want to go back?” Her whiskey-colored eyes bore through mine, pinning me in place.
My heart stuttered in my chest, hating that I allowed myself to be vulnerable. Damn her for pushing me this way,but I cared about her more than anyone else. I didn’t want to lose her, but I couldn’t be the man she wanted either.
“What if we lose our magic? What if you die?” There, I said it. My deepest fear washerdeath. But I’d never spoken of the possibility of Isla dying until now.
“That’s the bitch of it all, Ciro.” She fanned out her hands. “We won’t know unless we take a step forward to find out.”
“No.” I shook my head as dread consumed my soul. “Not going to happen.”
