“Oh, is this okay?” Tucker asks curiously, mouth slightly curled up at the corner in the hint of a smirk.
“Yes, she can stay with you.”
“Yay! Sleepover,” Tucker says with what seems like heartfelt sincerity. Cupcake’s tail beats happily against the bed, and my heart does that scary dip and dive again.It’s too soon, I tell my heart, but it’s never been good at listening, and I’m not sure I want it to listen this time.
“Yes,” I say before promptly fleeing the room. I close my own bedroom door behind me, lean against it, and take deep breaths.
Bedroom routine done, I throw myself onto the bed. I wonder what he’s doing in his room. Maybe he’s asleep already with Cupcake curled against him like the oversized blanket she can sometimes be. Maybe his fingers are wrapped in her plush fur, and maybe he’s wondering if I’m up thinking about him too. I roll onto my side and imagine him beside me, a crooked smile on his lips. His smile would be half tease and half disbelieving that I could look at him the way I do. It takesa long time to fall asleep because I can’t stop thinking about Tucker’s eyes, his easy smile, and the too easy way he fits just perfectly into my life.
A loud banghas me gasping and sitting up in bed. A moment later, my door opens to reveal Tucker with his cell phone flashlight on, eyebrows pinched with worry.
“I think that was a fuse blowing outside,” Tucker whispers without an ounce of sleep coloring his deep voice.
“The generator will turn on, then.”
Tucker stares at me as if he doesn’t believe me, but, sure enough, a moment later the night-light in the corner of my room turns on. He smiles shyly.
“Well, we’re awake now.”
“What time is it?” I rub a tired hand over my face, not feeling like I got any sleep at all.
“Two in the morning,” Tucker answers from the doorway. Cupcake peeks her head through, then pushes in to join me in my bed.
“Blargh.”
“Oh, you’re that type of person.”
“Urgh.”
Tucker laughs, and the sound does something to me that I can’t explain. I cover my head with the blanket, eyes closed tight, wanting to sleep for another few years.
“Get in here,” I say gruffly.
I expect Tucker to argue, give me some reason why he can’t, but all that greets me is blessed silence until the gentle dip of the bed. Tucker gets under the covers, his face only a foot or so from mine under the shroud of darkness. Cupcakewhines at the end of the bed, and we both fight smiles as we stare at one another in the dark.
“I’m wide awake now,” Tucker admits quietly, voice barely a whisper.
“If you keep talking, I’m gonna be wide awake too.” I close my eyes, letting sleep slowly tug me down. I don’t know if it’s instinct or the start of a habit, but I reach out and rest my hand over his hip. My fingers land on the material of his sweatpants, but my thumb falls against the warmth of his skin. I feel it in my body, in my heart, and the urge to pull him close almost makes me dizzy. I don’t think my heart has ever beat so fast in my life just at the proximity of another person. I’ve had my fair share of one-night stands, even some brief relationships, but no one’s nearness has ever had this effect on me before. I want to know him, and be known by him, both equally dangerous and frightening.
“Go back to sleep, Tucker,” I whisper into the darkness.
“I can’t.”
I grunt and rub my thumb against his warm skin. “Why?”
“’Cause I’m too busy looking at you.”
My eyes snap open to find him in the darkness. Suddenly, the heat under the blankets is too much. The air is warm and humid, his breath minty when it fans across my face. Maybe I’m dreaming.
“I’m awake now.”
Tucker laughs but doesn’t come any closer, but he also doesn’t push my hand away, just lets it rest there. I gather all the courage in my body and move my hand up, letting it rest across the expanse of his ribs. He takes a deep breath, and I feel that too. I feel it in my own lungs.
“When I was a kid, we’d have dance parties during hurricanes so I’d be less afraid.”
“Wanna have a dance party?”
“Sure,” Tucker says softly, scooting slightly closer. “I’m not afraid of the storm though.”
