“Just…” Jacob stops himself with a huff and disappears into the kitchen.
Dante tips back to look after Jacob, then flops back to the flats of his feet. He just shrugs in confusion at those of us remaining in the living room. I take that as my cue. I send Mason a look that clearly saysdon’t worry, and he just smiles back at me, sending those little butterflies to flight in my belly. When I pad into the kitchen, Jacob’s standing by the sliding glass door, hands in his pockets and a frown on his face.
“What’s up?”
Jacob’s jaw tics. “Hayden drives me fucking crazy.”
“That’s not news.”
“Too crazy.”
I tilt my head at him, noting the dark smudges under his eyes, the less than perfectly styled hair atop his head. Jacob’s always been so perfectly put together so that everyone just sees a shining star when they look at him. It was always easy for me to fade into obscurity when standing next to him. We might be twins, but we couldn’t be more different. Jacob is outgoing and beloved by nature, but it takes a lot of work for me to be the same way. I’d rather be at home with a book, or now at home with Mason, but Jacob loves to be the center of attention.
“Did you fuck up?” I ask.
Jacob turns his face to give me a look that says it all. He did fuck up, somehow, and doesn’t know how to fix it. I turn away from him to look outside, noticing for the first time that the moon is still full. That doesn’t bode well for tomorrow at all. Missions usually go to shit for us when the moon is full because it makes people fucking crazy. When we’re alreadydealing with standard crazy, we really don’t need them to up the ante because of the moon.
“Remember how Mom loathed the full moon?”
Jacob chuckles. “Brings all the crazies to the emergency department,” Jacob says in the perfect imitation of our mother.
“A nurse that smoked, so counterintuitive.”
“She’d be proud of us, I think.” Jacob shoots me a soft look that settles those clanging pieces inside of me. When the whole world is against me, I know he’ll always have my back. A built-in protector, just like I’ll always be his biggest fan. “She’d be proud of you.”
“We’re doing the best we can with what we’ve got,” I reassure him.
Jacob lurches forward to hug me, shocking me enough to make me gasp in surprise. We’re not much for hugging, but clearly Jacob needs physical affection in the taut moment, so I loop my arms around him and squeeze tightly.
“It’s all right, Jake.” I kiss his warm cheek. “What’s wrong?”
Jacob pulls away, embarrassed, furiously wiping at his cheek as if to hide tears. I haven’t seen Jacob cry since we were small children, when I broke one of his toy soldiers. He just shakes his head in refusal to answer me, so I back off and reach out to give his bicep a reassuring squeeze. The move seems to settle him back into his bones, and we smile at each other in the lowlight of the kitchen.
“Want to know a secret?” I ask softly, clearly just between us.
Jacob grins, his normal big and broad smile. “Yeah.”
I shoot a look toward the living room, meeting Mason’s curious gaze as he watches our entire interaction. The smileon my face hurts, and my insides go topsy-turvy when Mason grins back at me.
“I think I’m in love with Mason.”
Jacob chokes on his spit. He bends over and I awkwardly pat his back until he stands up to stare at me in confusion.
“That’s not what I expected atall.”
I shrug, helpless. “Sorry.”
“Really?”
I splay my hands out in awhat are you gonna dosort of gesture. “Something about him fits with the broken puzzle piece inside me. Does that make sense? You’re not mad, right?”
Jacob looks confused now. “Why would I be mad? I’m bi!”
Okay, well. “Well, not about that part. That it’s with Mason. After I made that wholecan’t hook uprule.”
Jacob looks thoughtful for a moment before shrugging. “He wasn’t part of the crew when you started whatever this is with him, was he? It’s like Dante and Reid, I guess.”
“I guess… but I won’t keep you to that rule anymore. You know that, right?”
