“You promise?”
“Yeah.” Parker nods toward the bedroom. “Are we just going to sleep or…?”
Suddenly, I have to kiss him. I lurch forward to press my lips to his and he lets out a happy but surprised noise. Wrapping my palms around his neck, I tangle my fingers in his soft hair that falls almost to his shoulders. But I notice he isn’t touching me or moving his lips.
“Is it bad?” I mumble against his mouth.
“No,” Parker says, voice delightfully wrecked. “I just don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to push a line you don’t know you have and ruin this and we never get to try again.”
Oh. I smile up at him and swipe my thumbs across his tight jaw. “Put your hands on my hips.”
Parker momentarily looks like he’s going to argue but must think better of it, because a second later his large palms soothingly curve over my hips. A shiver racks me at the touch, sparking a fire inside me that’s long since been dead. This time when I kiss him, his lips part under mine, and he coaches me through my first fumbling of a real kiss. He tastes like toothpaste and mouthwash, and my brain deems it acceptable. Nothing about the kiss is gross like I’d feared for so many years. The touch of his tongue against my lips sends a lightning strike of desire down my spine. Oh god.
Parker carefully backs us up toward the bed, and whenmy knees hit the mattress, I fall back. He stands over me like some type of god, surveying the bounty laid out before them.
“Can you take your shirt off?” Parker asks with a curious tilt of his head.
I shift up a little and peel my shirt off, leaving me only in my now very tight boxer briefs. Parker smiles down at me in clear satisfaction.
“Can I lie down on top of you? Is that a boundary?”
“I have to be honest with you that we won’t know what my lines are until we cross them. But I promise to not go ballistic and say we’ll never try again. Even my therapist said…” I trail off, realizing what I just revealed.
“You talked to your therapist about this?”
I blink slowly. “Well, yes. To help me navigate how we can have physical intimacy.”
“What did she suggest?”
I wave a hand toward the bathroom. “All that. And also condoms for everything we do in case jizz gives me the ick.”
Parker laughs as he stares down at me, then he clutches his side in clear pain. “Can I lie down beside you?”
“Yes. Yes, come on.” I wiggle my hands in invitation and smile when he joins me on the bed. He looks so worn out but so very mine. It helps that he smells like my bodywash, adding to those possessive feelings that are sweeping through me.
I roll over onto my side to stare at him and he stares right back. He reaches out his hand to trace the edge of my jaw like he’s done all the other nights, but this time he really touches me. I shiver under his touch, not from anxiety but out of the need to have more. One more touch; no, all the touches, now, forever.
“Kiss me again,” Parker orders, and when he uses that tone of voice, I can’t deny him a thing.
I lean forward to glide my lips over his in a soft kiss. He groans deep in the pit of his belly and moves his hand down to grip my hip so hard I’m sure I’ll have bruises tomorrow. I can feel the restraint in his kiss—he’s letting me lead, letting me discover what will work for me and what won’t. And that’s what makes Parker perfect for me. Poison ivy and frost, that’s what we are. Anyone else would hurt me, but not Parker, he’s just the right amount of everything to leave me alive after this touch. His hands stray from my hips to curve up my back, curling around my shoulders and hold on as we kiss until my lips feel bruised and oversensitive. I never thought it could feel like my mouth belongs to another, but the longer Parker kisses me, the more it feels like my mouth is his to own. My brain shuts off as he trails a line of kisses from my mouth to my cheek, up to my forehead. I let out a sigh and he tugs me closer as if he wishes he could bring me into himself for safekeeping. If Parker could, I think he would.
After pressing another soft kiss to my lips, Parker yawns into the kiss and I pull away with a put-on annoyed look.
“Is my kiss boring?”
Parker smiles with his eyes closed. “Never. Wish I could suck you right now.”
“Oh.”
“But not tonight. Can we go to sleep?”
“Yes. And tomorrow you’ll see Mandy about your ribs?”
“Mhmm.” But Parker is already halfway asleep. I pet his arm until he’s sound asleep, then watch him for a little while, wondering how I got lucky enough to stumble across this entirely too perfect man. He must have some huge fault I can’t look over. Then I almost snort when I remember he’s amurderer.That’s a pretty big one there, Mason.But as I cuddle into the bed, my hand still on his arm, I realize that’s not a fault at all, especially since I’m also a murderer now. We can be murderers together.
I wake before Parker. Sunlight slashes through the edges of my blackout curtains, highlighting the motes of dust floating in the still morning air. The heat’s low since I like it cool, meaning my feet are frozen solid even despite Parker’s presence in the bed beside me. Moving carefully so as not to jostle the bed, I roll over onto my side to look at him in the early morning light.
His mouth is slightly open, hair wild and untamed since he went to bed with it wet, and I’m surprised to find it has a little curl to it when it dries naturally. Without his glasses on, his eyelashes don’t look as long, but they’re still much fuller than mine. A day’s worth of stubble lines his defined jaw, and the strange urge to touch him overtakes me. Reaching out, I slowly sweep the pads of my fingers across his jaw. The hair is coarse and prickly, but I don’t mind the feel of it. Parker blinks slowly awake at my inquisitive touch.
