The bed isempty when I wake up in the middle of the night. Fear grips me tight, but my phone is silent which means Reid is still somewhere in the house with his tracker on. I pull on the shirt and sweatpants that were hastily thrown to the floor hours ago before we made love. The glow of the fire downstairs greets me as I descend the stairs.
Reid is curled up in the chair, chin in his hand, staring at the fire like it contains every single secret of the universe. He doesn’t lift his gaze to mine, but his hand falls into my hair when I lower myself to sit by his feet. Taking one of his feet in my lap, I massage the arch until his gaze slides to me.
“I think I’m going to say yes,” Reid says, out of the blue.
Ah. “You don’t have to, it’s your decision.”
“I want to,” Reid argues, eyebrows furrowing as he stares back at the fire. “Maybe it’ll help me get over everything, doing something good, instead of punishing myself for something that isn’t even my fault.”
“It helped me,” I admit.
Reid’s worried gaze pings back to me. “Your sister?”
I nod. I watch the glow of the fire move across his face, aching with just how beautiful he is to me. I think I’d love Reid in every universe, no matter how damaged we both are,our souls call out to each other with knowing. Soulmates? Maybe. But his hurt aligns perfectly with mine, somehow making us just one person when we’re together.
“I don’t know what I’ll do after college, not sure this shit is a career, but for now it feels good, and that’s what matters most. Right?”
Reid nods in agreement, then leans down to kiss me. When Reid lifts his head, it’s to look over my shoulder. When I glance behind me, it’s to find a tired-looking Hayden standing in just a pair of sweats, skin dotted with goose pimples from the cold.
“So?” Hayden asks, voice carefully neutral.
“I’ll join you,” Reid says with a scary smile. “But you’ll need to teach me how to use a gun.”
I groan in despair at the very thought. But both boys smile at each other, in pleasure at my pain, or pleasure at Reid joining the brotherhood, I’ll never know.
EPILOGUE
DANTE
Iwake up one Saturday morning to the hazy fall of snow outside my dark windows. Instinctively, I reach over to Reid’s side of the bed only for my hand to land on cold sheets. Ugh. Where is he? Squinting one eye, I look around the room, to find absolutely nothing. The walk-in closet door is open halfway, the light still on, but no sounds come from the room. He’s not here.
Maybe he’s downstairs curled up by the fire with his sketchbook. I roll out of bed, scratching at my bare stomach as I plod toward the bathroom. Once business is taken care of, it really starts to irk me that Reid didn’t let me wake up with him in my arms, sassy and sleepy. My favorite kind of Reid.
After getting dressed, I descend the cold wood stairs in search of Reid. Scrolling through my phone, I glance up expecting to find him curled up in the chair by the fire, but there’s no fire going, and notably no Reid. Well. Okay. I click through the app on my phone that shows his location, butthe ring just shows him up in the bedroom. Now I’m starting to get nervous.
“He left a few hours ago,” Hayden calls out from his perch at the dining table.
I jump a few inches in the air because I somehow didn’t notice him. Hayden has that way about him. If he wants to be seen, you’ll know it, otherwise he can easily blend into whatever room he’s inhabiting.
“Any idea where he went?” I ask.
Hayden quirks one eyebrow as if to sayyes, but I’m not telling you. I scowl his way which only earns me a laugh from Hayden. Prick. I trudge back up the stairs, irritated and annoyed, because I had a particular vision for how this Saturday morning was going to go. Wake up with sleepy, sassy Reid, roll him over and fuck him, then treat him like the little prince he is alllllllll day. But no, now he’s gone and I’m left to my own devices.
Wiping at my eyes in frustration, I toss myself back on my bed, only to land on something crumbly and noisy. What. I reach under my back and pull out a now crumpled piece of paper with Reid’s neat scroll across it. Oh.
Find me, asshole.
I smile despite myself.When I tilt my head to the side that’s when I see the black ring on the nightstand. Oh, he wants to be found. Suddenly the day feels a lot more exciting than it did just a few moments ago. Jumping out of the bed, I race down the stairs, barely registering Hayden’s delighted laughin the kitchen. Tugging on my own thick jacket, I push out into the garage only to be greeted with an impatient-looking Parker.
“Jesus, that took you forever.” He promptly tosses the keys at me and I catch them against my chest. “Onetime-onlyfavor to use my car. If you return it with one scratch, you’re a dead man. Also, Reid said something about being where he likes to be watched.” Parker passes by me in a flurry of his warm-scented cologne. “You guys are weird. No fucking in the car.”
Little does he know that now the idea has been planted. I won’t be able to go on without fucking Reid at least once in the car. I climb into the car, start it, and sit for a minute to try to think up where he could be. The library? School’s closed for winter break but maybe he could still get in.
The roads are lightly lined with snow as I drive toward the school. I love the hush that falls over the city with snowfall. After growing up in New Mexico, snow was a new thing for me to get used to the past few years. Yeah, it took acclimating, but now I’m partial to the aesthetics of it. Although the reality is often infuriating, it’s still worth the way the snow softens everything it touches.
The school parking lot is empty like I imagined it would be. Running through the snow is more dangerous than anything else, one bad step and my head gets cracked. The library door is unlocked when I push against it, warmth washing over me as I shake the snow out of my hair and wipe down my jacket. The usual front desk person is absent, some of the lights off, not even a security guard. Hopefully Reid doesn’t get us expelled with this stunt.
I’m not sure where to start looking for him though.
