Beau raises one eyebrow. “Do you need a job? I can put you to work.”
I toss myself down on the plush grass. Picking some of the green strands from the earth, I tear them apart in my hands as I continue to cool down from my run. Maybe I do need a job. Maybe I need to go back to school. It’s hard to focus on myself when I’m still so worried about Nolan.
“I dropped out of college,” I tell Beau without looking up. He’s silent, so I keep picking at the grass. “I wasn’t ever really good at learning. I’m not the smart kind, you know? I’m funny and good looking and steady, but that’s about it. But Jackson mentioned maybe cooking school would be good for me? I think maybe that’s a good idea. But I want a job too. A real one, not that sex work isn’t real, it is, but I just…” I trail off and finally look up at Beau. He’s staring at me like I imagine he’d stare at a pacing lion, slightly worried, but wondering what the hell I’m thinking.
“You’re allowed to start over too,” Beau says matter-of-factly. “Not just Nolan.”
Well. He’s right. “I’ve always taken care of someone else.”
“You’re no good to Nolan unless you take care of yourself too. There’s a culinary school in Orlando, Joey can probably get you in pretty quickly. And if you want a job while you’re in school, Joey always needs more help at the truck.”
“Oh, the guy in the food truck?”
Beau sits up slightly to fix me with a hard gaze. “I’m thinking of opening a restaurant on the property. Joey doesn’t know that yet though. If you’re gonna stay here, gonna make a living that way, you could have a place at the farm. If you wanted it.”
“I want!” I yell and sit up on my knees. “I want,” I repeat slowly when Beau looks slightly frightened. “I want it a lot. Please.”
Beau situates himself back in the hammock with a sigh. “I’ll talk to Joey. Go inside and check on Trevor for me, would you?”
Beau promptly tangles his fingers atop his chest, closes his eyes, and seems to fall asleep. Alright. I stand from the ground, dusting the dirt and grass off my legs, then meander toward the house. Trevor’s standing just inside with a mug of tea between his palms. His smile is tremulous and small, but I try to settle him with a grin of my own.
“Do we need to have a talk now, too? You’re the last one I haven’t had a talk with,” I tell Trevor as I take a seat at the dining table.
Trevor quietly joins me, then stares down at the table. “I care about Nolan.”
“I know.”
Trevor takes shaky breaths as he rubs his finger around the rim of the tea. I wait him out, not wanting to rush him, but knowing we’ve been needing to have this conversation for a while.
“He and I… I wish I could’ve seen what you see in him. Not romantically. But I feel like shit that he was hurting so badly and I didn’t see… I was hurting so badly too.” Trevor pauses and squeezes his eyes shut tightly, before lifting his head to stare at me. “He needed you, I’m glad you gave him what he needed to feel safe.”
I reach out to take his hand in mine. “You didn’t do anything wrong with him. You gave him what he asked for, right? I gave him what he needed, he just didn’t knowwhathe needed.”
Trevor hums thoughtfully. “You’re happy?”
I grin. “Very, when he lets me love him. How’s Claire?”
Trevor sighs loudly. “She’s fine.” Trevor flips his hand over to cup my palm in his own. “She’s got no boys to do their jobs anymore. She’s out of business.”
“Eh, she should become a realtor.”
Trevor laughs and leans forward to envelop me in his arms. I bury my face in his blond waves, smiling when I realize he smells different, like outside and engine grease. We’ve all changed more than we’ll ever know thanks to Clay Springs.
“Beau just told me he’ll get me a job at the farm,” I whisper into Trevor’s hair.
Trevor’s laughter echoes through me. “He’s been trying to put my friends to work for a while, so you probably just made his day.”
Because the worldcontinues to work in mysterious ways, Chris calls us and asks us to meet him at a restaurant a few days later to discuss the final deal he’s made with the label. Nolan is restless, radiating nervous energy beside me in the truck. I need to buy us our own car since we’ve decided to settle here. Actually, doesn’t Nolan have one back in Los Angeles?
“Nolan.”
“Benjamin,” Nolan says with a curl of his lip.
“Can we get your car brought here? And what do you want to do about your house in LA?”
Nolan wrinkles his nose up as he thinks. I have to curl my hands tight against the steering wheel to resist the urge to pinch his cheeks. He’d probably punch me in the jaw if I did.
“Yeah, I’ll mention the car to Chris. He kind of handles everything about my life. I haven’t done much for myself in a long time.”
