Benji’s gaze pings between us, a furrow between his brows. “Not sure what’s happening here.”
“Shhhh… best friends are communicating,” Harper says with his chin in the air. “You’re sweaty and you should put a shirt on.”
“Don’t,” I tell Benji with a wicked grin that makes him flush even deeper. “Go on inside and wait for me.”
Benji goes inside without a word and Harper leans to the side to watch Benji disappear. “Jackson would kill for him, you know.”
I smile blandly. “I’d kill for him even more. I’ll see you later. Text me the address.”
I slam the door in Harper’s face before he can reply, but his laughter echoes through the door. I find Benji in the bathroom, leaning one hip against the counter, still gloriously sweaty from his run. He cocks one eyebrow at me as I slowly approach him.
“You think you can tell me what to do?” Benji asks quietly.
I shrug as I pull my shirt over my head. “It worked.”
Benji reaches out to slip his fingers into the waistband of my sweatpants, using his fingers to tug me close until I slam against his sweaty skin. I run my hands up his back, marveling at the feel of his muscles moving under my palms.
“Hi,” Benji says quietly, light blue eyes glistening.
“Hi,” I repeat softly.
“Wanna shower with me? Help get me clean?”
“Let me enjoy you all dirty first.”
I tuck my head into his shoulder, breathing in the smell of him. Even after running miles he still somehow smells fresh and clean. Maybe it’s the cold air from outside lingering on his skin. Benji pulls out of my grip to turn the water on for the giant shower. Steam fills the room as he repeats his favorite process, slowly undressing me. Once I’m shirtless, he slowly kisses down my chest, his eyes peeking up at me as he lowers to his knees. He slowly tugs my sweatpants down to reveal my thighs, planting kisses down my leg as each new inch of skin is revealed.
I follow his direction to step out of my pants and breath stutters out of me when he lifts one foot to ever so softly kiss the tattooed arch. No one has ever been so tender with me, probably because I’ve never allowed someone the chance. Only ever Benji. Just Benji. He stands slowly and tugs my naked body against his own. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest as I make myself breathe slowly to savor the intimacy of the moment.
His hands cup my hips, thumbs rubbing at the tattooed skin. “I’ve missed this. I like taking care of you, like when you let me.”
“You always take care of me,” I whisper like it’s a secret.
Benji chuckles softly. “I know, but there’s something special about these moments in baths or showers. You open up for me, let me be softer than normal. I like this version of Nolan best.”
“How many versions of me are there?”
Benji nuzzles my nose, eyes going half-mast. “A lot, and I like them all, but I have my favorites.”
After helping Benji get undressed, we slide into the warm, hazy shower. Benji dips us under the water, and I blink my eyes rapidly so I don’t lose sight of him. The way he tips his head back to reveal the long line of his throat as he wets his hair leaves me breathless and wanting. I don’t even care about getting off. I just want to… be with him. Hold him. Feel his heartbeat against my cheek as I press close to him.
I grab his face between my palms and tug him to me, eating at his mouth as he gasps in surprise into the kiss. His hands find a home on my hips, pressing tight into my flesh. It’s sad that my tattoos will make it hard to ever see the bruises he leaves on my skin, the proof that I am still alive, that blood pulses through my veins. Maybe the bruises he leaves on my heart will have to be enough.
“Nolan,” Benji murmurs against my mouth. “Slow. I’m not going anywhere. Like this.”
And then he kisses me deeply, like he’s drinking a fine wine that needs to be savored. His lips glide over mine as he curls his arms around my back to cup his palms over my shoulders. I melt against his body, feeling hazy and delirious with this odd, new urge. My heart pounds and my ears ring as his soft, slow kiss takes me apart. This is when I feel most alive, when the world feels a little less scary, when Benji treats me not like fine glass that could break, but like the finest china that he wants to admire for how carefully it’s been created.
It’s only when Benji’s thumbs move to swipe across my cheeks that I realize I’m crying. I blink my eyes open to find Benji already watching me.
“Okay?” Benji asks against my slack mouth.
“No, but I’m getting there.”
“Better?” Benji asks hopefully.
I nod jerkily. “I think so. Benji… you. You won’t leave me, right? I can’t do this without you, and I know that’s probably shit to say, and I know I hurt you with the balcony stunt, and you probably think I’m insane. I just… I just want you to always stay. Stay with me? Okay? Okay.”
I finish talking and realize now I’m really crying, fat tears falling from my eyes. Fuck this man and his ability to make me open up in ways I’ve never thought possible.
