“And your dad?”
“I don’t remember a single interaction with him where he wasn’t high.”
I’m not a therapist or psychologist or whatever but I feel like that just explained a ton about Nolan’s entire personality.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, meaning every word.
Nolan hums again. “It is what it is. Can’t think about the past anymore. I want to think about the future.”
“Do you have a lot of thoughts about the future?” I glance over at Nolan, but this time he’s looking steadfastly out the window, fingers idly playing with the edge of my hoodie.
“I didn’t use to, but now I do,” Nolan admits shyly.
I don’t push him for more because now’s not the time. Life is too volatile right now to make or ask him to envision a future that only a handful of days ago he didn’t believe he existed within.
The directions lead me onto a small dirt road with brush on either side. We rumble and ride down the road, the sky getting darker as the trees close in around us. For a moment I’m a little scared that Eli sent us out here to be murdered by some backwoods group of cannibals, but then the trees open up to aclearing. Nolan gasps softly as he leans forward to look up at the sky.
“Look at all those fucking stars,” Nolan says, voice full of wonder.
A million stars have nothing on Nolan. We climb out at the same time, but Nolan wanders off toward the sound of water.
“Be careful, there could be snakes,” I call out.
Nolan turns around with wide eyes. “Seriously?”
I laugh at him, earning me a scowl from him in return. “There are definitely snakes the closer you get to the water.”
Without a single argument, Nolan carefully wanders back toward the truck, eyes scanning carefully over the ground before taking a step. Tugging the tailgate down, I climb into the bed to lay out the blankets and the pillows.
“Benji, this is awfully romantic,” Nolan drawls as he watches me move around.
“It’s sweet.”
“Romantic,” Nolan argues.
I freeze and turn back to stare him in the eyes. “Do you have a problem?”
“No.” Nolan climbs into the truck with me to help me finish with the blankets.
Once the blankets and pillows are settled, I lie back and Nolan easily falls into my arms. He shivers a little and shifts further into me. The silence between us is easy. I take a deep breath of the fresh, clean night air, smiling at the hint of Nolan’s body wash. Well, my body wash that he co-opted somewhere on the tour so that he always smells like me.
“Benji,” Nolan says softly.
“Hmm?”
“This is nice and all but kind of boring.”
I tug his head up to look at me. He grins a little, so I press a soft kiss to his mouth to taste his smile. “It’s not very us, is it?”
Nolan shakes his head, lips softly brushing mine. “No, not really. Nice though. Just feels like someone else's thing.”
“What could our thing be?”
Nolan rolls on top of me, straddling my hips with his legs. My heart races and my cock thickens just with the weight of him on top of me. He smiles down at me, cocky and sure, and leans down to brace his elbows on either side of my face.
“You know exactly what our thing is,” Nolan says softly, warm breath fanning over my face with each word. His eyes dart between mine as he tangles his fingers in my hair. “Thank you for trying… trying to be sweet to me. But you don’t have to try so hard. I like you when you’re soft for me, but I like it even better when you tell me what to do, when you make me bend to your will. That’s the best part of us, right?”
I stare helplessly up at him, the stars framing his face like a million galaxies brought him to me. Even in the darkness I can see the shine of truth in his eyes, I can see what I feel echoing back to me. We might not be able to say it yet but it’s there, so obviously there.
