Maybe it was the sweet thing Jackson had done for me by thinking of the rage room. Maybe it was how time and time again he shows up, weirdly wanting to know me, be in my presence. No one else has ever bothered. This might all go to shit but wouldn’t it be nice to just once have something for myself?
The next morning, Andy drops by with freshly baked muffins and a quiche from her mother.
Andy roughly pushes the full container of food into my arms. “She said that you should tell your mom.”
I sigh heavily. Telling my mother is the last thing I want to do. She’ll drag me back to the doctor, make me go through more tests, when the doctor explicitly told me what to do already. If the uptick goes too high, then I go back. Otherwise, we will discuss everything at my next visit. Simple.
“I’m not telling her.”
Andy shrugs as she raids my freezer for candy. Munching on a frozen Reese’s, she eyes me critically. I squirm under her stare, finally giving up and digging into the muffins. They’re good. Pumpkin, my favorites.
My eyes narrow. “Joey baked these.”
Andy snorts around her candy. “You are weirdly good at that. Yes, Joey baked the muffins.”
“Andy,” I whine petulantly, just barely holding back from stomping my feet. “You promised. Only you or Cindy can know when I have a seizure. Not the cousins or the guys!”
“You’re such a baby. Everyone knows you have seizures. People want to help take care of you.”
“That’s the problem!” I shout. I pant in anger, then press my hand to my forehead. “I hate that people know. I hate it. You know that.”
“Harper,” Andy says my name like she saysfuck. Like I’m the most annoying person on earth. I probably am actually. “We’re talking about family, Joey, and Lee. What about them makes you feel like they’re going to judge you for having fucking epilepsy.”
“Just… just…” Grabbing at my hair, I tug hard, trying to center myself. “Don’t tell them anymore.”
Andy comes around the island to stand in front of me. She wipes her hands on her overalls, then grabs my cheeks betweenher palms. “I blame your mother for this. I truly do. You’re not a burden on any of us. Please, Harper. Let us take care of you.”
I huff out an annoyed breath, but don’t pull away. Andy tenderly sweeps her thumbs under my eyes, calming my rapidly beating heart.
“It’s not just Mom… it’s you too. I feel bad that you... That you worry about me.”
Andy rolls her eyes. “If you bring up high school again, I’m going to actually choke you out.”
“I—”
“Shut up.” Andy stares me down until I’m forced to listen. “Those guys were jerks and I don’t regret getting kicked off the cheer team for a moment. Anyone that loves you would feel the same way. Your mom makes you feel like some weird burden and those assholes made you think there’s something wrong with you. There’snothingwrong with you.”
Taking a few deep breaths, I finally nod in her hold, earning a pleased sound from Andy.
“Now, tell me about Jackson.”
I groan loudly. “I have this odd feeling you guys aretryingto get us together. We aren’t pandas. You can’t just put us in a room together and expect us to… I don’t know, mate or whatever.”
“Fuck like bunnies?” Andy clarifies with a snicker.
“He’s so big… do you think?”
Andy snorts and rolls her eyes. “My love, I have heard some stories. You better be ready.”
“Stories,” I repeat carefully. The muffin in my mouth suddenly tastes like ash.
Andy waves her hand dismissively. “Nothing bad. Calm down. I just think he’ll be good for you. Sometimes, you need a firm hand. Jackson definitely has one of those.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I ask around a large mouthful of pumpkin muffin.
Andy makes a disgusted face, so I open my mouth wide, showing her my half-eaten food. Make the kids grow up, but the kids never leave us.
“Well, you’re kind of a brat.”
