Beau bites his lip to fight back what I’m sure would be a heart-stopping, toe-curling kind of grin. Those big strong hands that I love so much stroke up and down my back as he holds me close. He holds me like I’m something precious, something rare. My heartbeat picks up again just at that very thought. Being precious to someone like Beau is a dream come true.
“Can I just hold you tonight, sweetheart?” Beau asks softly, a hint of need in his low voice. How am I ever supposed to say no when he asks me something like that so sweetly? Saying no to Beau seems impossible, much to my perpetual enjoyment.
“’Course.”
Never before have I had to worry about taking care of someone else. Not in a real-life relationship. Considering I’ve never had a relationship before that wasn’t part of my professional boyfriend duties. Being a fake boyfriend had me taking care of other men sometimes, but my heart was never really in it. Now with Beau, there’s a deep need rooted inside me that makes mewantto take care of him. To ease his troubles, ease the weight on his strong shoulders. I feel like I can fly when he’s vulnerable with me and lets me take care of him.
Which leads me to something else.
“Hey, Beau,” I say as I lead him towards his bedroom.
“Hmm?”
“Do you ever like to be fucked?”
Beau’s hand grips mine just a little tighter at my question. He’s silent until we reach the bedroom, where he faces me head-on in front of the bed. A deep crimson blush paints his cheeks and neck, and his gaze lands firmly on me. Shyness radiates off of him, but not his normal shyness. This one is different.
“Sometimes,” Beau admits quietly.
“Would you ever want me to fuck you?” I ask, reaching up to tenderly cup his jaw.
He turns his head into my palm like he always does, such a tender thing that makes my still-learning-to-love heart beat a little wilder. A slew of butterflies takes off in my chest when he affectionately kisses my palm. His hooded eyes find mine and smolder, sending a current of need through me.
“I think someday I’ll need you to fuck me, sweetheart.” His voice is deep and rough, like the words cost him a lot to say.
“I’ll give you what you need,” I promise, meaning every word.
I kiss him then because I don’t know how else to follow up that sort of statement. If it was possible to pour my heart into a kiss, it would be in this one. I lick his lip so that he opens for me, and then dip into his mouth, wishing I could keep the taste of him in my own mouth even after the kiss ends.
Beau’s hands grip my hips and tug me in tighter against his body. His hard cock is a line against my abdomen, and I wish that I could have him tonight, any way he’d let me. But I also want to respect his wish for us to take it a little slow, start back at the beginning. So, I pull away from him, chuckling when his mouth chases after mine.
“Slow, Beau.”
He nods in the dark of his bedroom. “Right.”
“Take a shower, put on some comfy clothes, and then we’ll enjoy some dinner. Alright?”
Beau plods into the bathroom without a single argument. Once the sound of the shower running reaches my ears, I head out into the kitchen to scrounge up a dinner for us. In my very best dreams, I imagined a scenario much like this one. A dream where I cooked dinner for my lover, took them to bed, and woke up in their arms with a sweetness lingering between us.
And that’s exactly how the evening goes. Dinner is perfectly quiet. Beau even does the dishes. Then we curl up in his bed together, his leg between my thighs, my head tucked into the warm crook of his neck. I run my finger over his eyebrows, under his eyes, over his nose, and count his eyelashes and his breathing slows. Just the shine of the moon illuminates the room as Beau slowly falls asleep with me safely inside his arms.
The very last thought as sleep tugs me into its grips is that I hope I can keep Beau forever. Keep all of this. For the first time in my life, I’ve found something worth fighting to keep.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TREVOR
Days go by with me attempting to relax while Beau goes to work. We haven’t explicitly talked about the future, but it’s unfurling easily before us. While the house is empty, I work on applications for graduate school. I’m not sure why I waited so long. Maybe being in Georgia after graduation was just a flyover, because I knew I’d somehow end up back here. Where I belong with Beau.
A few online-only programs appeal to me. My grades were good, and professors liked me, so I’m pretty sure I can get glowing references to help my application. But now I have to consider the proximity to this place, to Beau. For the first time in my life, I have to consider someone else. It’s not as hard as I imagined it would be, to place another person's feelings or wants close to my own.
Midway through the week, Beau comes home, restless and anxious out of his skin. Most nights we spend together, just basking in the glow of each other’s presence. Wanting to help him, ease whatever is worrying him, I stop him at the kitchen counter with a gentle hand on his forearm. His muscles are bunched tight as if ready for a fight. But that’s not Beau, he’snot a fighter. Those kind eyes ping to me, a little furrow forms between his brows.
“Wanna have a date night with me?”
Beau grimaces a little. “I’m so tired, Trevor.”
“Nothing fancy.” I squeeze his arm gently. “We can do it here.”
