“Huh.” She takes a step closer, then gently pats my bicep. “You tell Mama?”
“No,” I say loudly.
“Alright, alright.” Her eyes sweep across the burgeoning garden, gaze a little misty. “You need help? I’ve got some time.”
The offer is sweet, but I need to do this alone. Only a handful of days with him rooted him inside my chest, like one of these plants.
“No help. I need to do this on my own.”
“Fair.” Andy nods at the bushes lined up along the raised beds. With a soft smile, she wanders over to steal a gardenia bloom off the plant. Lifting it to her nose, she takes a deep inhale, smile growing as she lowers it back down. “Reminds of being a kid.” She spins the bloom in her fingers, then raises her distant gaze to mine. “Pops always grabbed them off the bush out back, putting them in a glass bowl so that the entire kitchen smelled like them. The smile on Mama’s face was always so blinding when he did that.”
A rock forms in my throat at the mention of Pops. The loss of him still feels so visceral, like not much time has passed at all. Ifit feels that way for me, I can only imagine how it feels for Andy and Mama.
“How’s Ethan?”
A frown forms on Andy’s face as she keeps spinning the flower between her fingers. “The Mediterranean; that’s all I know. The life of a Navy wife.”
“And you didn’t want to go with him?”
Andy shakes her head firmly. “Wasn’t an option since he’s out to sea. Plus, I don’t know, I kind of wanted to stay here with everything going on.”
“I’ve got it all handled here just fine, sis.”
Her eyes lift to mine, assessing in a way I’ve never felt before. I bristle under her stare just a little, unable to meet her too-knowing gaze.
“You’ve handled everything for so long, Beau. It’s not fair for you to keep doing that.”
“I’m used to it.”
Andy scoffs. “That’s the whole damn point. Maybe it’s time for you to stop worrying about taking care of everyone else and steal some of the joy for yourself for once. You hear?”
“My life is pretty joyful.”
“Is it?”
Andy skewers me with a hard, borderline angry stare before grabbing another bloom from the bush. Walking back over to me, she lifts onto her tiptoes to place a kiss against my sweat-slick cheek.
“I love you so much, Beau. I hope this garden brings you all your wishes.”
Only one wish is my goal. I don’t know how to tell her that though. A blaze of dirt sprays behind her truck as she leaves me behind.
The heat of the sun lessens as the day goes by, making it easier to finish planting the gardenia bushes. By the time I’mfinished, the smell of their blooms is so heady that a smile creases my lips. For just a brief moment, I imagine showing this to Levi. The smile on his face would rival the eight wonders of the world, I know it. Making him smile was one of the most joyful experiences of my life. God, I hope I get to do it again one day.
“You’re extra quiet tonight.” Joey pointedly clinks his beer with mine to bring my attention back to him.
The downtown brewery is busy, scattered families and couples loud for Friday night. Once a month I get together with my best friends to catch up on our lives. Seems a little silly considering both of them work at the farm. But it’s a tradition we’ve always had since we were old enough to drink, so it seems pointless to end it now.
“I’m always quiet,” I reply seriously.
Joey scrunches his nose up in blatant disagreement, dark curls dancing in the breeze. “I saidextraquiet.”
“Hmm.” Taking a sip of my beer, I lean back harder against the metal chair.
“You started without me?” Lee complains with a huff as he takes the seat beside Joey.
Joey slides the beer he ordered for Lee across the table, eyes firmly on our best friend. The tension at the table rockets for just a moment, then dials back down when Lee takes a grateful sip of the beer.
“Thanks, my favorite.”
