Elijah’s raucous laugh has us turning back towards the bar. His face is an inch from the bartender’s and they’re whispering amongst themselves.
“Wanna see a movie?” Jackson asks as he throws a couple of bills down on the table.
“Sure.”
“New Ryan Reynolds?”
I sigh dreamily. “You really know the way to my heart.”
Jackson wraps a comforting arm around my shoulders, keeping it there through the entire walk to the theater. BecauseJackson knows me so well, he orders us a large Coke and a giant-ass popcorn to share. The cinema is honestly one of my favorite places in the entire world. The air-conditioning is always on blast, it’s quiet when the movie is on, and the snacks are ace. What else could I ask for?
Jackson even springs for the fancy recliner seats so we kick back and attack the popcorn as the ads start. We fight over the popcorn for a while, idly chatting during the previews. He catches me up on his boyfriend shenanigans, and I listen, comforted by the soft tenor of his voice.
“You sure you’re okay, kid?” Jackson asks, just as the lights are dimming.
Worry rushes through me, just for a moment, that maybe he can really see me. See through Trevor to the core of me. But when I glance over at him, his gaze isn’t knowing, only concern radiates from him. Concern is an easier emotion for me to handle from him.
“I’m sure,” I say, the lie as easy as breathing.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BEAU
Octobers at the farm are usually full of joy. All the pumpkins, the kids in costumes, the families making wonderful memories. Even though all that is still happening, it’s tinged by the bittersweet last few days my dad is going to be alive. Everything would be worse if we had no idea what hospice was or how the last few days would look.
Colby is an invaluable resource to us. The loss of Marcus, although terrible, has imparted him with knowledge that has made everything about my father’s illness just a little easier. Colby’s been there every step of the way, someone I can lean on. Which isn’t the usual for me.
My dad has been a strong, steady foundation in my life. He joined a big family, the Smiths, without a blink and worked his way into the community. His love for my mother is something that I grew up admiring and being simultaneously envious of because I want to love someone like that. With every ounce of my soul.
“How are you doing?” Colby asks as he joins me on my parents’ back porch.
I tiredly seesaw my hand back and forth. “At least we’ve known this is coming for a long time.”
“That’s the best and worst part about cancer. You know it’s coming, but it still feels like it’s happening so fast.”
I take a deep, steadying breath, attempting to calm the noxious worry eating away at me. “Mom… this is going to be so difficult for her.”
Colby shoots me one of his soft, reassuring smiles. “It’ll be hard at first. Especially since they’ve been together almost forty years, but she’s strong. She’ll be okay.”
“Is this hard for you? Reliving it all in a way?”
Colby thoughtfully runs a hand over his short stubble. “Not really. Yeah, it still sucks because that’s my uncle, but it’s different when it’s your spouse.”
“I hope I never find out,” I admit honestly, then immediately feel like shit. “That was insensitive.”
“Beau,” Colby says firmly, but nicely, a sad look on his face. “You are allowed to be insensitive right now. You’re allowed to feel pain. I won’t hold anything against you. Is your boyfriend going to visit soon? That might help.”
My eyes close tightly against the lie, against the pain of thinking about Trevor. It had seemed like such a brilliant idea to hire a fake boyfriend right up until the moment he left. Because everyone asks about him all the time now. I don’t even know where he is or how to find him. Even though I want to find him, would love to find him.
“I really need to get back to the farm.”
“Beau.” Colby makes a pained sound before clapping my shoulder, effectively stopping me from fleeing. “The farm is fine. It’ll be fine until you can get back. I promise. If you feel idle, there are other things we can do.”
I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain. “Like what?”
“Wanna break an engine down and put it back together like we did with Grandpa?”
A weak laugh escapes me. We haven’t worked on an engine together in ages. Probably not since we were kids. When Colby was a teen and I was a pre-teen, rebuilding engines with Grandpa was what kept us out of trouble. The man sure knew how to keep his grandkids distracted. Even Andy helped out with the cars when she was little.
