Colby jostles us a little so he can take my face in both of his hands. The look on his face is just south of adoring. “My husband, my Eli.”
Tears fall from my eyes because I can’t hold them back any longer. Colby sweetly wipes the tears away with his thumbs, and kisses me lovingly while still buried deep inside me. Only when he softens enough to slip out do we break apart. No words are exchanged between us as Colby gently guides me into the bathroom. I don’t think any words would even do if we tried.
He draws a bath and fills it with bubbles that smell like tea tree oil. The bathroom fills up with steam as I look forlornly out the bathroom windows. The sun has disappeared, gone below the horizon. Gorgeous pinks and purples fill the sky. A beautiful end to a beautiful vacation. Because that’s all this was, all this ever could be. A vacation from real life for both of us.
Once the bath is full, Colby sits down in the tub, then helps me into the bath between his legs. I lean my back against his solid chest. His fingers card through my curls, pulling the knots out that formed during our lovemaking. Relaxation flows through me enough that I feel myself drift a little, not to sleep,but into a state of relaxation I’ve never quite allowed myself before.
“My husband,” I whisper sleepily, just as sleep overtakes me.
I wakeup once during the night. My mind is a scattered mess until I remember where I am. My brain immediately goes a mile a minute.
What am I going to do about this man who brings me breakfast in bed, buys me books, learns my every tell, and is starting to feel more like a real husband than a fake one? How am I going to return to my life back in Georgia and know that Colby is off living a life that I’m no longer privy to? And how am I going to fall asleep at night without the weight of him against my back keeping me grounded to the earth?
None of these questions can be answered by my pea-sized brain. I wonder if Colby has considered the same things or will life go right back to normal for him once we go our separate ways?
The very idea almost knocks the wind out of me. Just the idea that he will watch me walk away tomorrow without a care in the world could stop my heart in my chest. I can’t think about it now though. As my mother always says—those are tomorrow’s worries, so there’s no use borrowing trouble for today.
I turn into his arms and bury my face in his neck. He lets out a pleased sound in his sleep before laying a heavy arm over my back. I let myself fall asleep in his arms, comforted by the weight of him, without worrying about how tomorrow night I’ll be sleeping alone in a bed that won’t smell like him.
Darkness greets me when I blink fully awake for the final time. Colby is a solid weight against my chest. Sweat covers our bodies from us being pressed tightly together.
Today is the day we have to go our separate ways. The final day.
The worst part of me wants to flee while Colby is asleep. Take the coward’s way out. But that’s not fair to either of us and that’s not what Colby paid to have this week. The husband experience can’t end with one of the husbands fleeing during the night.
So, I just lie there and listen to Colby breathe. His breath puffs against my neck on each exhale, tickling the skin of my neck. I grip his arm around me while I watch the sky change slowly as the sun rises on the other coast. The sky goes from black, to dark blue, to pink, and finally light blue as the day comes for us.
I know Colby won’t sleep much longer because he’s an early riser. Moments later, he jolts against my back, proving me right. Despite everything, I smile to myself. Gentle hands roll me over so that Colby can look down at me. A bittersweet smile graces his own lips.
“I thought you’d leave before I woke up,” Colby admits sheepishly. God, how can a man that fucks like the devil be so sweet, even shy at times?
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Colby sighs and tightly shuts his eyes. “I don’t think I can watch you walk away.”
“Then you won’t watch me walk away,” I whisper against his stubbled check. I lean back just enough to brush a closemouthed kiss against his lips. “Make me breakfast, hubby?”
We take care of morning business together in the bathroom. Brushing our teeth together at the sink and grinning at one another in the mirror. Downstairs, Colby makes me wafflesagain, and fruit without any berries. I devour the waffles because Colby is an amazing cook. An amazing man.
We’re quiet as we clean up the kitchen. I wonder if Colby is going to stay here or leave when I leave? What will he do once I’m gone? What life will he go back to? Colby stays downstairs as I return upstairs to pack my things. I’m leaving with more than I brought, not just in belongings. I’m leaving here a man in love. A professional fake boyfriend that fell for the client. Pathetic, I know, but it’s now my sorry lot in life.
To know a love so pure if only for a few days, is something I will treasure for the rest of my life.
Colby’s out on the balcony when I come downstairs with all my belongings. Just like that first day. How was that only six days ago? It feels like a lifetime. Colby turns and takes in the sight of my suitcase, of me standing unsure at the edge of the living room. Some emotion that I can’t name crosses his face.
Ask me to stay, I think.Ask to keep me,I ache to beg him. But I don’t. Just like people have tried to own me before, I don’t want to put that back on him. I don’t want him to be forced to ask for something that he might not even want.
Instead, I open my arms, and hold him tightly against me. We sway together in the living room. His arms are a tight band around me as I breathe the clean scent of him in. Expensive cologne and the ocean. Is it silly for me to ask him the brand name? I want to ask him so that I can buy it and spray it on my pillows, but I know it won’t be the same. The scent won’t have the hint of Colby that should accompany it.
Colby presses a tender kiss to the edge of my jaw, then pulls away. Quietly, we walk out of the house towards my car parked in the driveway. My heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings in my chest. Is this how it feels to break your heart in real time?
I unlock my car and Colby loads my bags into the trunk for me. When he comes back, he stands in front of me with hishands in his pockets as if to stop himself from reaching out for me.
“My husband, my Colby,” I tell him around the emotion threatening to choke me.
Colby closes his eyes on a pained sigh. “My husband, my Eli.”
“Hey,” I whisper, forcing him to look at me. “Don’t watch me go. Pretend I’m going out for groceries and I’ll be right back, okay? I’ll be right back.”
