I carefully wiggle out of his tight hold. When he sleepily reaches out for me, I offer my hand, and let him hold it for a few moments before he falls back into deep sleep.
Quietly padding across the bedroom, I fumble for my phone in the dark. The house is silent when I wander downstairs, just the sound of the ocean wafting through the closed doors.
The sun is just breaking over the horizon. Trevor will be awake at this hour because he’s an absurd person who goes to the gym at the crack of dawn. He predictably and thankfully answers on the second ring.
“What’s up?” Trevor asks, concerned. The sound of the gym is audible through the phone. His gentle voice soothes my rapid heart.
“Have you ever fallen for a john?”
Trevor inhales sharply. “Eli?”
“Have you?” I whisper angrily.
“Once,” Trevor admits wearily.
“What’d you do about it?”
The sound of a door slamming echoes through the phone and the noises of the gym disappear. “I didn’t do anything, Eli. I’m a coward. I ran away. I left him behind. Broke my heart and probably his too. If you’re falling in love and you think it’s real … Don’t do what I did. Hang on to him.”
“Trevor …”
“It’s fucking scary,” Trevor says, voice trembling. “But Colby sounds like a good guy. I won’t tell you what to do though. Just be careful with your heart because I love you. Your heart matters most. How many days do you have left?”
“A couple.”
Trevor whistles in sympathy into the phone. “Be careful. I love you.”
“Yeah,” I agree.
We say our goodbyes, then I go out onto the balcony to watch the rest of the sunrise. It’s finally July 4th, but I don’t feel the excitement I did just a few days ago. Dread bubbles up insideme because the days are going too fast. I want to hold on to this, even though I know I shouldn’t.
Not much later, a gorgeously sleep-rumpled Colby comes down the stairs. It’s unfair that he’s so sexy when waking up. Makes me wanna fall to my knees right here, right now. I bet he’d let me too.
“Everything alright?” Colby asks, voice sleep husky and lovely.
I hold my hand out to him, gripping his own tightly once he takes mine. I kiss his knuckles, then wrap his fingers around my neck. I aim a smile at him, the best one I’ve got in my arsenal, and butterflies take flight in my stomach when he grins warmly back at me.
“Everything is great,” I lie as my heart starts to form a few cracks.
We spend the morning cuddling on the couch. Colby’s fingers gently play with my hair, his new favorite hobby. I lean into it like a cat, soaking the attention up. A rainstorm bubbles up around noon and the house is quickly cloaked in darkness.
“I love rainy days,” I admit as a crack of thunder echoes through the house.
“Yeah? What do you do on rainy days?”
“I read.”
Colby brushes a kiss against my jaw. “Go grab one of the books I bought and read it to me.”
I flush, but do as he says, grabbing my copy ofThe Wind in the Willows. Inexplicably, I want to share this with him. Maybe when he sees this book in twenty years, he’ll think fondly of me.
Curling back up against him, I read the book aloud. The room gets so dark from the storm that it’s difficult for me to read the pages. Colby presses a button on a remote by the couch to turn soft lights on around us.
Colby falls asleep a little while later, but I don’t stop reading. I read aloud, a little more softly, but I read to him in his sleep in hopes maybe he’ll remember my voice when I’m long gone. Maybe he’ll remember me after we part, as much as I know I'll remember him.
Another loud crack of thunder startles Colby awake from his short nap. His eyes shift to mine and a sleepy smile is aimed my way, doing my heart dirty.
“Sorry,” Colby apologizes, stretching a little. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
